Reflection 2

Capture: Last week, when we received our first teaching assignments, I immediately got right to work. The following Tuesday seemed like a decade away as I finalized my plans, and I couldn't wait to blow my first assignment out of the water.  Verdict: Tuesday came, and lets just say, my lesson wasn't the hit I had hoped for.

Analyze: A few things stuck out to me in this process.

1.  Prepare, prepare, prepare! I should know this about myself by now, if I don't feel 100% ready before I present something, I usually get nervous and flop on my face. For some reason, I was under the impression that I had out grown this tendency, but Tuesday assured me that my weakness is alive and well.  Sure, I had spent a while on my lesson the week before, and then briefly went through it the night before, but given my track record, I should have known that if I was to really do a good job, I should have simply just put in more time and rehearsed it several more times.  Now, I recognize that there were some good points, but overall, the lesson had way more potential than I let it achieve.

2. Usually, when I find myself in these situations, I enter whirl pool of self pity and anger. Why didn't I prepare more? I feel like an idiot. I hate not being good at anything. I'm usually so comfortable in front of people, what's wrong with me? Why do I always feel like I'm at the bottom of the class?  Reading this, I know it sounds incredibly stupid, and as I type this, I realize that kind of attitude is unwarranted and just plain ridiculous. However, it is the reality most times when I come out of a situation feeling less than competent.  Here's what surprised me Tuesday though: As I sat down after my lesson, I knew that I really hadn't done a great job, or even a good job, and watching some of the other students do so so well usually would have discouraged me further..... I sat in my seat and waited for the feelings of idiocy to settle in... This is the weird thing though, they didn't come! In fact, the longer I sat there, the more motivated I felt. I watched person after person nail the assignment, and I thought to myself, I can see myself doing that. You know, of all the aspects of this major, I feel like my most potential is in my teaching abilities. I know what to do better for next time. 

Critique/Action: As dumb as it may sound, this experience reassured me of the good things to come. At least the mistakes I made in my teaching are fixable. My "action" this time is to take feedback I was given (proximity, more interaction with the students, show why your topic is important, etc) and apply it to my next teaching opportunity. I'm actually kind of excited.