"Are we supposed to wait until after high school to have a boyfriend?"
Uhhh.... I wasn't sure exactly how to answer this one.
Here's the deal: Emily had spent the week at EFY (a youth church camp). While there, one of the speakers led a pretty in depth discussion on dating. In the LDS church, we have been given a lot of standards and guidelines when it comes to teen dating. These standards are given to us by modern prophets, and are published in a booklet called, "For the Strength of Youth." The speaker my sister heard at EFY understood these standards differently than she had, causing her to feel a little bit conflicted.
Seeing that this conversation was not one that could be properly texted, we agreed to meet during her free time.
I wasn't sure what I expected this conversation to be, but what actually happened has kept me thinking for days. Emily led out with a firm,"I want to follow the prophet" kind of attitude. Her idea was not to push the boundaries of the church, but rather to correctly understand the principles in that pamphlet, so that when she began dating, she would be in line with what the prophets have said.
We surprisingly never nailed down the specifics of what was or wasn't appropriate when it came to teenage dating. Most of our conversation was spent discussing how she should go about researching this topic. We talked a great deal about study, prayer, and attitude. In the end, her mindset was the same as in the beginning, "I want to follow the prophet."
"Don't take lightly the feeling you get of love for the prophet of God. Wherever I go in the church, who ever the prophet is at the time, the members will ask, 'When you get back to church headquarters, will you please tell the prophet how much we love him?' That is far more than hero worship or the feelings we sometimes have of admiring heroic figures. It is a gift from God. With it, you receive more easily the gift of confirming revelation when he speaks in his office as the Lord's prophet. The love you feel is the love the Lord has for whoever is His spokesman." -Henry B. Eyring (Continuing Revelation, Oct 2014.)
Emily's trust in these men comes from a witness borne of the Spirit that they are representatives of Jesus Christ. I can tell that she feels that. And that's why I think her attitude was one of seeking understanding instead of defiance.
Her unwavering trust in these men of God strengthened my own conviction.
Later that day, I would go home, get on Facebook, and see the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage.
The more I reflected on this experience, the more it struck me what had really happened with Emily that day.
Emily had set herself on a path of dedication to God. When I was fifteen, the topic of dating was extremely important to me, as it is to her now. And there are a lot of details that people have varying opinions on. I remember also being thoroughly confused.
Emily's choice to clear her confusion by researching the words of prophets through study and prayer is going to benefit her for the rest of her life.... Because, one day, the topics of discussion are going to be ones of a much grander scale. When faced with controversy in the future, the opinions will be more fierce, and the consequences more far-reaching.
When I got home Friday and scrolled through my Facebook feed, I read article after article, each posted by someone I care about. Some felt that legalizing gay-marriage was a great step forward for our nation, while others felt devastated, disgusted, and threatened. As rainbow-stripped profile pictures and "straight-pride" posts littered my wall, I found peace as I looked to the men I sustain as prophets.
The leaders of the church released this official statement that Friday:
"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints acknowledges that following today's ruling by the Supreme Court, same-sex marriages are now legal in the United States. The Court's decision does not alter the Lord's doctrine that marriage is a union between a man and a woman ordained by God. While showing respect for those who think differently, the Church will continue to teach and promote marriage between a man and a woman as a central part of our doctrine and practice."
Trust.
As I read these words, I was reminded how much I trust the men I sustain as prophets. And peace. I felt that too.
These themes of seeking clarity and understanding seem to be reoccurring ones as of late, and I assume that pattern will only continue. The legalization of same-sex marriage is not going be the last controversial issue that we face. I am grateful, however, for the opportunity it has given me to research the words of those I sustain as prophets, pray for clarity, and finally trust in the Savior.
And so, by the end of this, the issues of teen-dating and same-sex marriage didn't seem so different to me after all. The particulars, of course, are different, but the path of finding peace and understanding was the exact same.
Both required research, prayer and trust.
So that's my take-away.
As a side note, of the articles I read, this is the one that proved most enlightening: http://www.millennialmormons.com/your-choice-supporting-gay-marriage-or-supporting-gay-members/
