Create a Holy Place

Just over a year ago, a woman named Ann M. Dibb (one of the leaders in the LDS faith) gave a talk about the Holy Places in our lives. She talked about how "holy places" can be geographical locations such as church buildings, temples or homes. She acknowledged that places can be distinct conditions, positions, or states of mind. She said,  "This means holy places can also include moments in time—moments when the Holy Ghost testifies to us, moments when we feel Heavenly Father’s love, or moments when we receive an answer to our prayers. Even more, I believe any time you have the courage to stand for what is right, especially in situations where no one else is willing to do so, you are creating a holy place."

After reading this talk, I contemplated the "holy places" in my life.  I thought about the moment when I knelt on my bed and prayed after I finished the Book of Mormon for the first time. I also thought about the places in my home town I used to go to sort out my thoughts when I was troubled, like the walking path behind my  parents' house. One of my favorite holy places is the area rug in my childhood home where we said countless nighttime prayers as a family.  Other holy places included the high school newspaper room, the first time I played the violin in church, and the sidewalk outside my college dorm where I said "no" to things that I knew where not right. Each of these places and moments shaped a part of my character and strengthened the conviction of my testimony.

Over the course of my mission, I've continued to find holy places. A holy place was found in the tears on my cheeks after we were dropped by my favorite person to teach. Another was found in feeling happy and at home around the table of a family I fell in love with. It is a strange feeling to look down a street and know exactly which homes have copies of the Book of  Mormon, which homes  you have prayed with after they have recently lost a loved one, or which homes felt the Spirit when you testified of the love and redeeming power of our Savior. In this regard, even an entire street can become a holy place.

I love thinking about the actual paths the Savior walked and the holy places He created there. I can only imagine being one of Christ's original disciples and remembering the corner where Christ healed the blind, the alley where the woman with the issue of blood reached out to touch the Savior's robe, or the tomb where Christ raised Lazarus from the dead. His life was absolutely filled with holy places because He filled His life with holy things... I'm sure as a child He spent time studying the words of the prophets, and many nights on His knees seeking for direction from His Father in Heaven.

All of these holy places prepared our Savior for that night in the Garden of Gethsemane where He would "tremble from pain...bleed from every pore...and suffer both body and Spirit" (D&C 19:18) in our behalf. Here, the Savior gave all He had to the Father. Through His sacrifice and love expressed in this holy place, we too can overcome the negative affects of sin.

My point in all of this...We all have the power to CREATE holy places. Elaine S. Dalton said, "I truly believe that one virtuous young woman or young man, led by the Spirit, can change the world."

Spencer W. Kimball, a prophet in the 70s and 80s, once said, "God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs.  Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other...In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5).  So often our acts of service consists of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help from mundane tasks--but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds."

On the back of my nametag, I have written "create a holy place," and I pray each day that Heavenly Father will help me do that.

We all are blessed with unique gifts and talents that Heavenly Father has given to us to bless others, and those moments when we're blessing others' lives and magnifying our own gifts are sacred.  So whether you spend extra time in the scriptures or on your knees, share your testimony with a friend, or serve a perfect stranger, my challenge to you is to create a holy place today.

Week 7/15 :Full Purpose of Heart

Christ has given us everything. He's given us an atonement through which we can repent and return to live with Him and The Father again. He's suffered for our pains and sorrows, so He really knows what each individual is dealing with. He's even given us the earth itself for us to live on.  He's descended below all things, and risen above every pain and conflict that has ever existed. He gave the blind man sight, the deaf back his hearing, He even raised people from the dead.

If Christ is so powerful, and so above us, what can we possibly give Him that's of value that He wouldn't be able to just create Himself?

I'm of the opinion that there is really only one thing that quite fits that bill. Ironically, the only  true gift we can give Him is something He's already given us. Its our agency.  Our agency is the only unique thing we can give to Christ.

In class this week, we talked about how the greatest works of God are manifest in the everyday lives of obedient people. For example, the elements don't have the power to decide to follow Christ. When Christ asks the sea to be calm, it has to be, the sea has to listen. Contrary to the elements, we do have a choice. Christ can't force us to "come unto Him." That decision is all on us. Isn't that idea amazing? That after the countless worlds Christ has created, after the infinite atonement He has suffered, the greatest gift we can possibly give Him is to obey and follow Him? And the crazy thing is, if we follow his plea to follow Him, He blesses us with even more. It's not something I totally understand. Christ gives us everything we know, gives us a way to be clean again, and  promises us eternal life if we just follow Him and the Father? It seems almost too good to be true.

Well, if that's my job, that is to come unto Christ, I want to do it as its described in 3 Ne 10:6 and come unto Him with "full purpose of heart." Christ has given us so much, and asked for so little. He promises eternal salvation if we just follow the commandments. Anyways, my point in this is: if Christ is so willing to give me everything, and asks only for my obedience in return, well then, I am going to be the best follower that I know how to be.

As a missionary, I'm going to be subject to A LOT of rules that I'm definitely not used to. And while some of the rule I think may be a little... much... (i.e. you have to wash your car once a week, what the heck is that about?!) I know that my success as a missionary will be highly dependent on whether or not I'm serving and obeying with "full purpose of heart." I'm not saying that washing my car is really going to matter that much, but rather its the attitude I have towards all of the little rules that is going to affect my service  (including whether or not I take car of my car as asked). I really love this next quote, especially as it pertains to missionary work.


"When obedience ceases to be and irritant and becomes our goal, in that moment God will endow us with power." -Ezra Taft Benson

I know that promise is real, and have seen it, at least to some extent in my life already. I'm for sure not a perfect follower of Christ, but, like any other Christian, I'm doing my best. What was that thing that Elder Holland said in General Conference? It was something about how with the exception of Christ, God has only ever worked with imperfect people...ya, He's pretty used to it. The beautiful thing is that every time we mess up, if we recommit to do our best to follow Christ in the future, we are forgiven time and time again. 

Anyways, at the end of the day, if the only thing I can give to Christ is my agency to follow Him, by golly, I want to do it with "full purpose of heart."

Week 14: Charity.

Another long one:)

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things..if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail." Moroni 7 45-46

This is an excerpt from my journal during my second year of Young Women's Girls Camp:
"We just got through with a lesson from one of the sister missionaries. She told us about a ton of amazing ladies that have been in the church and how the grounds are named after them. [My YW leader] got up after she left, and told us that she felt prompted to tell us that there will come a time in our life when we have to decide what kind of person we are going to be. She said the decision may be now, or then years from now, but when it comes, or even before, we should pick someone to model ourselves after."

That day I chose a handful of women that I hoped to be like someday.  That list has been added to many times since I was 13, and it continues to grow. I didn't realize it at the time, but now as I reflect back on those ladies, they all have at least one thing in common. They have all taught me something about charity.

I've thought a lot about what I wanted to post tonight. A few days ago I spent a lot of time reading my old journals looking for specific examples of times when these ladies showed me charity, and I found a lot. Surprisingly, none of them seemed right to include in the post.... I think the reason why none of the experiences felt quite right was maybe because
1. I didn't want to box in my idea of "charity." It's not something you an "arrive" at. Charity, I think, is a lot of things, and  I felt with each combo of experiences I tried, I wasn't able to capture what my actual perception of charity is.
2. This list of ladies is pretty long, there's no way I could include an experience with each one of them that portrayed what they taught me about charity, but there's no way I could just leave one or two out because without them, my perception is totally altered.

Conclusion: Charity is a lifestyle. I don't think that's really news to anyone, but it's something I think is definitely worth thinking about. Maybe the real reason I couldn't find experiences I wanted to write about is because charity can't be rolled up into "an experience."

When I think of my definition of charity, I think of mango cherry popsicles, tutoring in math, and many hours spent rehearsing for performances. I think of giving 12 year-old girls hope that they could become something worth being proud of. I think of standing up for a first-year  news staff member who hasn't quite learned how to work in the system. I think of silly camp songs about cheeseburgers or Noah, odd jobs, and new skills. I think of dead animal rooms with giant moose heads, and eating my first artichoke. I think of the best mom I could ever ask for who was raised by a pretty incredible woman herself. I think of aunts who take me shopping, or support me in my latest money making venture. I think of Christ-centered homes where friends are always welcome.

From rolling on the floor with laughter (sometimes literally), to tearful embraces, to some of the strongest testimonies I've ever heard, these women exemplify exactly what I think it means to be a charitable disciple of Christ.

In my ward each year, every day of Young Womens' camp you were assigned a "secret sister" for the day. Your job was to keep an eye on that sister all day and at the end of the day, all the girls and leaders from the ward stood together in a circle and said the things we noticed  about our "secret sister" or just the things we love about them. One night, when it was my turn to talk about a leader who has had a pretty significant impact on me, I got a little teary thinking about how grateful I am for her influence. That night I recorded this, "How can you possibly express your love to someone you feel so indebted to?"

Isn't that kinda how it works with Christ? He has given us so much, how can we possibly show Him our gratitude when the debt is so big?

I'm no expert, and I'm not sure I'll ever be, but here's one way:

 "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God"  (Mosiah 2:17)

According to the Bible Dictionary, Charity is "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love...the pure love of Christ."

If there's one thing those women have taught me, it's that people, all people, ought to be loved.  Regardless of who they are, or what choices they make, everyone needs someone who believes in them and who is constantly rooting for them. They showed me their love through their constant attitude of charity, and I am so grateful for their examples.

I'm gonna wrap up with this quote by Marvin J. Ashton:

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge, or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."

I'm grateful for that YW leader and the challenge she made to me to pick women to model my life after. To me that was an act of charity, and that simple challenge really has made a lasting impact in my life.

Anyways, I hope throughout my life that I will be able to develop a lifestyle of charity, and that eventually I will be able to love people as Christ would have me love them!

Week 13: Because They Were Different

The book of Ether (which is contained in the Book of Mormon) is a record of a civilization who inhabited the Americas called "the Jaredites."  They traveled by barge-like vessels from the Old World to the Americas at the time when the Lord confounded the language at the Tower of Babel. The Jaredites started out as an extremely righteous people. After many years of living in the Americas (like a ton of generations later) the people reverted to wickedness as they sought power through secrecy and deceit. The Lord sent many prophets to call the people to repentance in hopes that they would return to Him and not destroy themselves. For many years the people didn't listen and war spread throughout the people. One of the prophets the Lord called was named Ether.

By the time Ether comes along, people are basically hopeless. Ether tries to get the people to repent many times, but is rejected consistently. Did I mention war is everywhere? Wicked abounds so much that Ether has to hide himself "in the cavity of a rock" just to stay safe.

Years later, the prophet Moroni is called by God, and he abridges the record of Ether (Moroni and Ether were from two totally different societies).  He too lives in a wicked society and has to hide to save his life. He spends many many years alone and has to watch the destruction of his people.

These men didn't have easy lives. Being among the very few righteous people who weren't killed, they had to have been extremely lonely. Moroni often talks about his feelings of inadequacy and weakness. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be the only one left.

Today, I hope these men know what a difference they have made in my life. I'm not sure how we'll all meet up in the next life, but when I get to the other side, I'm excited to shake their hands and sincerely thank them for their faith and perseverance. I want to thank them for not conforming to the wicked practices they were surrounded by, and for showing me that even people as strong as them feel inadequate sometimes. I want to thank them for showing me that you never stand alone when you stand with God.

I want to thank them for being different. 

Elaine S. Dalton provides me with the take away lesson for today. In this last weekend's general conference talking about saints in our day she said, "they made a difference, because they were different."

Moroni and Ether were definitely different from the worlds they lived in, and now that their records are available to us in The Book of Mormon I can only imagine the influence they have had, and will continue to have in years to come. They have surely made a difference because they were different.

I hope that throughout my life, like Moroni and Ether, I will be able to make a difference by being different.

Week 12: I Will Go Before Thee

This post is a lot of words, and probably quite a few typos, so buckle up! 

When the mission call craze first started, I went out to lunch with my good friend (who had just received her call to Brazil), and her brother (an RM). He gave her all sorts of advice on how she should start preparing to leave, and what to expect in the coming months.

He told her that between the time she opened her call and the time she was to report to the MTC, things were going to get a lot harder. Especially in the weeks leading up to her mission, he told her to expect a lot of temptations, distractions, and doubts. He told her work hard and do everything she could to have the Holy Ghost with her because Satan was going to work his hardest to get her to stay home. He told her that Satan and his little demons were very aware that she received her mission call and that they knew how much good she could do, and how much further she could extend the work, and well, he doesn't want that. Basically, he told her to expect opposition.

Ever since I opened my mission call, I've been on my toes waiting for this kind of opposition, and trying to prepare myself against it for when it does finally settle in.

And for a while... nothing.

Maybe it was because of my spiritual high after going through the temple, or maybe it was because I was trying on a ton of cute sister outfits, but it took a really long time for opposition to creep up. And then, slowly it's started to come.

For me, at least so far, it's been doubts and fear, mostly regarding homesickness. I'm pretty much a homebody. I love to travel and go on vacation, but I love coming home. All growing up if me and my friends had to choose whose house to play at, I almost always tried to make sure we'd be at mine. Even now, I live literally 30 minutes away from my parents, see my dad almost every day (I have class in the building he teaches in), and talk to my family everyday and STILL I look forward to going home every now and then. I've heard of a lot of people getting a few weeks/months into the mission and being just overwhelmed with homesickness and coming home.

I don't want that to be me.

Like any other missionary-to-be I want to serve my full mission, full-heartedly. A lot of people have told me that once you're on your mission, you don't really have time to be homesick, and that if you throw yourself into the work, you'll be fine. I totally believe both of those ideas, but I just wasn't finding the peace/comfort I really wanted.

In Book of Mormon class today, we talked about the Jaredites (an ancient civilization talked about in the Book of Mormon). My teacher focused on how the Jaredites were given instruction on what they should do one step at a time. The Lord would give them revelation and then require them to act on that revelation before He would give them more information.

In Ether chapter 1, the people of Jared are preparing to cross the ocean. The Lord tells them to "gather together thy flocks," "seed," and their "families." That's all the instruction they get at this point. The people don't know how to get to the promised land, or what life for them there will really be like. I'm sure they had their doubts. The Lord then says:

"And when thou hast done this thou shalt go...down into the valley which is northward. And there I will meet thee, and I will go before thee." -Ether 1:41-42

This scripture said to me: "Hey Audge, do your best. Prepare in every way you can. Read Preach My Gospel, attend the temple, and just plain work hard. Then, leave on your mission. When you get there, I'll meet you. I've gone before you to Eugene and there is work to be done that I know you can do. Act in faith now, and when you need to know something, I'll tell you."

I'm not sure why that made me feel less nervous about getting homesick, but it did. Today I just needed the reminder that my call to serve a mission is really from the Lord, and that the time and effort I spend away from my family will really amount to something important if I serve faithfully.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in Ether 12:27.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, and my grace is sufficient for all men who humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

The Lord knows me. I'm sure once I get on my mission, I'll begin to notice even more of my weaknesses. For now, my weakness is homesickness, but I know that as I exercise faith and humility, I will be able to overcome that.

I'm excited to serve the Lord and bring His wonderful message to everyone I can. I love this gospel, I really do, and I'm grateful that the Lord is willing to have a little faith in me and is willing to put effort into turning me into the tool that He needs me to be.

When the time comes for me to report to the MTC, He will "meet me there" and He "will go before me." How very grateful I am for that promise.

Week 11: They Began

Here we are. Week 11. This past week I started reading Mormon. And it's just sad. Nearly everyone is wicked. They've forgotten the Savior we read about only a few pages ago. In Mormon chapter six, 230,000 people die in one battle, and God doesn't save them because they've forgotten Him. In chapter 2, Mormon recorded that "strength of the Lord was not with us, we were left to ourselves." It is just heartbreaking.

Typically, in the Book of Mormon, every time the people start to be wicked, the pattern goes something like this.
The people turn wicked--> The Lord stops blessing them-->The people realize they were being idiots and become humble and repent-->The Lord blesses them and things are happy again.

Here's why the people never recover from their wickedness this time, "the Nephites began to repent of their iniquity...there began to be a mourning...but behold...their sorrowing was not unto repentance...but rather it was the sorrowing of the damned, because the Lord would not always suffer them to take happiness in sin" (Mormon 2: 10-13).

They weren't sincere. They only "began" to repent. They weren't willing to forsake their sins. They weren't crying unto the Lord because they were sorry, they were crying unto Him because they knew that they weren't willing to do all that was asked of them.

My take-home thoughts? I don't want to be just a "beginner." I don't want to "begin" to be a good missionary. I don't want to "begin" to study the scriptures like I know I should. I don't want to "begin" to be a good student...No..... I want to become a good missionary. I want to be someone who studies the scriptures. I want to be a hard worker in my classes.

I want to be a becomer.

Week Ten: Write.

 "Write the things which they have seen and heard...Write the works of this people."- 3 Ne 27:23-24

As an avid journal writer, this phrase popped out almost immediately. I realize that journaling isn't really exactly what Christ is talking about here, but its the best way I can relate this passage to myself. I'm one of those every-night writers, even if its just a few sentences.

For this post, basically what I'm going to do is share a few really good quotes about journaling, and mix in a few thoughts of my own. Here we go!

"Your private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you. Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity. Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant. Your journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them... Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity."
-Spencer W. Kimball

"You may never be remembered for your superior writing skills, profound insight, or miraculous experiences as a teenager, but you’re the only one who can describe the night you finished the Book of Mormon for the first time, or the flustered feeling you had on your first date, or the smell of fresh roses at your grandpa’s funeral, or anything else in your life. If you’re the only one who benefits from your efforts, that’s enough." - Sept. 2003 New Era

That right there is why I'm so passionate about journaling.  I don't know that my posterity will read my journals, and I'm not even sure that I'd want them to. I write in my journal for me.

 I write because it is the one place where I am completely me. Not to say that the "me" everywhere else is fake, or that I'm trying to trick people, but in my journal, there is no one to impress or let down. No one that will judge or praise, laugh or cry, it is just me. 

I write to remember. I write faith-building experiences so that months or years later when I doubt those promptings or knowledge I recieved, I can read back and remember how very real the Spirit was in that moment of clarity. I write so that when I doubt a decision I made, I can read back and remember exactly why I made the choice I did, and why I felt that way. I write everyday, funny experiences so that when I feel down I can look back and remember exactly where I belong.

I write because I simply never want to forget those people who've shaped my life. I never want to forget the encouraging words, the support, or the listening ear.

"If the writers of the Book of Mormon had recorded their experiences the same way that you do yours, what would the Book of Mormon be like today? Would it have episodes full of intrigue and excitement, like Alma chapters 46–62 [Alma 46–62]? Would it be a deeply spiritual treatise, like 2 Nephi 4 [2 Ne. 4]? Would it be a few brief sentences, like Chemish’s entry in Omni 1:9? Or would it even exist?

Okay, so you’re not writing the Book of Mormon. But chances are, someday someone will read the record of your experiences—your journal. Perhaps it will be your daughter after you die, your great-great-great-grandson doing his genealogy, a gospel scholar looking at what life was like for Church members before the Millennium, or an archaeologist trying to piece together daily life in your town in the late 20th century. Whoever it is, what will they find? Will they find anything?" -Jeffery S. McCellan

It may sound weird, but I have a testimony of keeping a journal. I know that it benefits the writer both now and in years to come.  Whether my journals have reminded me of my testimony, or just made me feel like I'm not alone, I know that keeping a journal has blessed my life. 

Unlike the people Christ is talking to in 3 Nephi, my writings likely won't ever be regarded as scripture, but I know that the principle of keeping a journal is a true one. It's blessed my life countless times; I'm so grateful for Christ's counsel to "write."

Here's a Mormon Message of President Eyring talking about the importance of journal keeping.

Week 8: For With What Judgement Ye Judge

There are lots of things that are easy, but not right.  Here's a couple I think most of us are probably familiar with:
1. Making assumptions about others without the full picture
2. Comparing our weaknesses to other's strengths.

Why is it so easy for us to be so hard on ourselves and each other? Seriously. It's so dumb, but I don't know anyone that would argue that they don't sometimes succumb to these tendencies.

In 3 Ne 11-14 Christ gives a sermon after He is resurrected to the people in the America's.  One thing he councils the people to do is to "judge not." I'm not sure what kind of judgement problems existed in
34 AD, but for us, I think the kind of judgement described in this next quote from President Uchtdorf is what Christ is warning us of (well, actually I know it is, because this next quote is from a prophet, anyways, on to the quote):

 "When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm please apply the following: Stop it."

I like that. Just stop it. Stop the comparing, the evil glares, the snide marks under your breath, and the feelings of resentment whenever a hard memory comes up. Stop wishing their talents were yours, their struggles were yours, or their successes weren't so...successful.

We often quote Jesus saying "judge not" and then feel bad because "judging" such an easy trap to fall into. I wish we heard more often the quote when Jesus says "For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall also be judged" (3 Ne 14:2) followed by "Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father is also merciful" (Luke 6:36).

I think we could all use a little more mercy. Mercy in choosing not to hold the grudge, or in choosing not to say that bit of gossip no  matter how juicy it is. Mercy in choosing not to waste time wishing you looked like her, or in choosing not to feel inadequate because your weaknesses are somebody else's strengths.

When we get to the end and its time for our judgement, I think mercy is something we will all be seeking. If we really want to become more Christlike, being more merciful is a great place to start.

"For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall also be judged."

Here's a link to a Mormon Message about judging others that I really like. 

Looking Through Windows


p.s. I realize I skipped Week seven, I'm combining it with week 15, so that'll be here eventually:)

Week Six: Samuel, A Lamanite.

In Heleman chapter 13 of the Book of Mormon, "there was one Samuel, a Lamanite" who came to Zarahemla to preach the word of God.... Now, nearly everyone loves Samuel, he's the guy who stood on a wall and was protected from flying arrows for crying out loud. Here are a few more things that make him pretty unique when compared to other prophets in the Book of Mormon.

1. He's Specific- He tells the people exactly when Christ will be born.
2. We don't know where he came from before he preaches, nor where he went afterword. He simply went back to his people.
3. He's the only Lamanite that has prophecies recorded in the Book of Mormon.
4. Christ asks specifically for his words to be recorded in the record (3 Ne 23)

One of the things I love most about Samuel, is that his description is so generic. He's Samuel, a Lamanite. That's it. We don't know who his parents are, if he ever gave any more prophecies, his conversion story, or really anything else. He's Samuel, a Lamanite. Generic. What does this show me? It shows that Heavenly Father can do some pretty amazing things with generic people.

Tonight I'm in a short and sweet kinda mood, so I'm just gonna leave you with this quote:

"The Lord know who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we are really becoming." -David A Bednar

My last 2 posts have been about seemingly average people who did pretty incredible things. The point? Heavenly Father has got some pretty big plans for His everyday, average people. We just have to do our best everyday to be more like Him, and He will do the rest.

Week Five: Not One Whit Behind

This week, the scripture I want to focus on is one that I think would normally be over looked. The readings for my Book of Mormon class were good, just like usual, but this one verse stuck out to me in particular. It comes right after a couple chapters about Nephi (the one in the book of Heleman). In these chapters, Nephi is given the sealing power from Heavenly Father, and is told that anything he binds on earth, will be bound in heaven. The people are being pretty wicked and there are a lot of wars going on, and so Nephi asks Heavenly Father if He will make a famine happen to stop the war. Nephi figures that the people will be compelled to be humble  whether war makes them or famine makes them, but he thinks that famine will more likely make them look toward God and be humble. And so, Heavenly Father creates a famine on the earth. A few years later, the people are compelled to be righteous, and Nephi asks Heavenly Father to remove the famine, true to his promise to bind what Nephi asks, the famine is removed.

Anyways, the point of all of that was to tell you just how righteous Nephi was. Heavenly Father trusted him so much to give him the power to seal, and Heavenly Father really trusted him to exercise that power wisely.

However, my focus tonight isn't going to be Nephi. It's his brother, Lehi.

"And behold, Lehi, his brother, was not a whit behind him as to things pertaining to righteousness." -Heleman11:19

Lehi is with Nephi for a lot of the missionary work, but doesn't get much mention in any of these chapters. However, this verse really says it all.

Most of us, throughout our lives, aren't going to be Nephi's. Most of us won't be prophets, or in case you're a girl, a General Relief Society President. Most of us won't spend our lives in the spotlight like Nephi did. Most of us will have normal callings, normal families, normal jobs, and die normal people.What I love about this verse, is that it tells us that Lehi  was just as righteous, deserving, able as Nephi was, yet he wasn't the one to get the sealing power. He's like most of us. Normal. He did his best to serve God and spread the gospel.

 If Lehi were here today I'm sure he would have a normal 8-5 job, live in a normal subdivision, with his normal kids and family, and on Sundays he probably would teach Sunday School. When it snows, he'd go shovel his neighbor's driveway. Every now and then, he'd stop by his non-member neighbor's house just to say hi. He might even invite him to an Elder's quorum activity.  He would do his best to be fulfill his callings, be a great father/husband/neighbor, and excel in his workplace. By many people's standard, he would probably be considered normal, but by Heavenly Father's standard, he would be much, much more. 

Throughout my life, I'm not anticipating being a Nephi. I probably won't be known throughout history books, or known church-wide for anything I accomplish in this life. However, I can do my best to be the best sister, daughter, friend, wife (hopefully), mother (also hopefully), yw leader or nursery teacher (who really knows), missionary that I can be. I can give my time and my talents and try to spread the gospel, serve my neighbors, and raise a righteous family....And I'm thinking, that'll be good enough.

At the end of my life, well throughout it really, I hope that Heavenly Father will grow to see me as "not one whit behind" what He needs me to be.

Week Four: Left in Their Own Strength

I recently had a conversation with a friend that reminded me how important daily scripture study is in our lives. Not so surprisingly, both of us agreed that we can tell the difference between the days we really study the scriptures and the days we just read a verse or two. Unfortunately though, we often don't notice the difference scripture study makes in our lives until that influence is gone.

It seems that most of the times I do/say something I regret, I look back on the days preceding that one, and those days are consistently ones when my scripture study consisted of "just a verse or two."  Perhaps I was "too tired" or "too busy" or a variety of other excuses. Regardless, the result is the same.

In the Book of Mormon, the Nephites, who were typically a righteous people, really struggle with living the gospel and bounce back and forth between being righteous and being wicked because they are becoming prideful.

"And because of this (pride) their great wickedness, and their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength; therefore they did not prosper" (Heleman 4:13)


 I love that line... Because of their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength.

Isn't me choosing not to read the scriptures just like telling Heavenly Father, "Hey, I think you're really great, but today, I won't need your help. I'm pretty sure I can handle temptation and trials on my own today, so I'm just gonna go to bed, skip the scriptures. I'll read and pray when I need you again. Okay?"

Maybe that's a little extreme, but you get my point.

By the end of the Book of Mormon, the Nephites, who through nearly the whole Book of Mormon were as righteous as can be, become totally wicked and end up being destroyed through warfare.

You know, I don't think the Nephites went from being stalwart church attendees to murderers overnight, but I do believe that they fell away little by little. Maybe one day they skipped church, and then a few days later they didn't read their scriptures and pray,  and then they began to let pride creep in as they started to attribute their various successes to themselves rather than recognizing God's influence.

The end of Heleman 4 says "thus had they become weak...in the space of not so many years."

I think scripture study operates on this principle, when we don't read our scriptures like we should, we too become weak in a short amount of time. If we aren't familiarizing ourselves with the scriptures daily, we are less likely to make good choices simply because we won't be as aware and spiritually conscious. 

Now, not everyday is going to be a winning day with scripture study. Sometimes just a few verses a day is okay, but for the most part, the more we surround ourselves with the words of Christ, the more likely we are to make the choices that He would. Right? And isn't that our end goal? To become more like Christ.

Perhaps we can all follow President Hinckley's advice to try a little harder to be a little better.

Week Three: For They are Worthy to be Called Sons.

This last week in my Book of Mormon class, we started my favorite chapters, commonly called, "The war chapters." I seriously gobble these things right up. Anyways, there is so much that could be said about these chapters (seriously if you've never read them, or if its been a while, read em!) but I'll try to keep tonight's post focused on one of my favorite groups of all time, the stripling warriors.

Nearly a hundred years before Christ came (somewhere between 90-70 BC) a very wicked part of the Lamanites converted to Christianity. Before their conversion, they had fought in a lot of wars, and killed a lot of people. Shortly after joining the church, they made a covenant with God that they would never again pick up a sword, even in defense. To seal their promise, they buried all of their weapons of war deep in the earth. They took on the name Anti-Nephi-Lehi's, but eventually simply were called the people of Ammon. As time went one, the people of Ammon joined the Nephites who were also Christians. The Nephites gave them land and protected them in times of war. Now lets fast forward a little bit.

In about 64 BC, the Nephites were in a HUGE war with the Lamanites. The people of Ammon wanted to help in the war effort desperately. "They saw the danger, and the many afflictions and tribulations which the Nephites bore for them, they were moved with compassion and were desirous to take up arms  in the defense of their country" (Alma 53: 13). However, just as they were about to take up arms, Heleman (a leader of the church, army guy, and Nephite) stopped them, and basically refused to let them go to battle because he was scared that if they broke their covenant, "they should lose their souls (basically, the Lord would punish them)" (Alma 53:15)

Finally, the people of Ammon realized that though they had made a covenant with the Lord to never again take up arms, their sons  hadn't. And so, 2000 young men, ages 13-26, gathered together and elected Helaman as their leader to form The Army of Helamen. Shortly after forming the army, this is what the Book of Mormon says about them:

"And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all--they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted."
 
I absolutely love the way Heleman talks about these boys. He calls them "my two thousand sons "for they were worthy to be called sons," "those sons of mine," "my little sons," "my sons," "my stripling Ammonites," and "my little band" over and over throughout 56 and the following chapters.

Soon, these boys joined other Nephite armies.

Now, these boys literally knew nothing about fighting. They hadn't even played with swords as kids. They were young, and no one from the outside world would have thought that they could succeed.

They had every reason in the world to be terrified. The Lamanite numbers were huge, and many were really experienced. Here's what Heleman said about his sons while writing to a higher army official, Moroni:

"I say unto you, my beloved brother Moroni, that never had I seen so great courage, nay, not amongst all the Nephites...behold, our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall...Now they had never fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them...they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers saying: We do not doubt, our mothers knew it."

When in battle, they "fought most desperately" against the Lamanites. They "fought as if with the strength of God; yea, never were men known to have fought with such miraculous strength."

At the end of the battle, not one of the 2,000 Ammonites, the stripling warriors, been killed.

Though there was death all around them, that little army, with no experience, was spared.

 Now I've only read two more battles ahead of this point, but still, even then, none of them have died in battle.

Anyways, here's a little bit of what I got out of it:

• -If you keep your covenants and have faith in Christ, He will always help you find a way. Some of the details of the battles included a lot of trick plays from the Nephites. The Lord was helping them find a way to protect their people. Temptation and sin is the same, if we are righteous, He will help us find a way to escape.

• The Lord trusts His youth who have faith in Him. The 2000 had little experience, and no one expected them to succeed. I think Satan wants us to think today "Ha, look @ those 18 and 19 year-olds thinking they can spread the gospel,"  but I can only imagine the look of true horror on Satan's face when he heard the missionary announcement last October. You could say today's fight against sin is heating up.  Bring it on.

In this story, Heleman is a type of Christ. He is the guy in charge one of the armies for the good guys. Christ and Heavenly Father are in charge of the battle here on earth. Just like Heleman says that the 2000 were worthy to be called his sons, I hope to live my life in a way that at the end of it, Heavenly Father will be proud to call me His daughter.

Week Two: For When They Saw Your Conduct

Alma 39 in the Book of Mormon is all about Alma's (an ancient prophet from the ancient America's) advice to his son, Corianton . At this point, Alma, Corianton, and his brothers, have been on a gospel mission for quite some time. Heleman, the oldest son, gets gold stars from his father. He is an incredible missionary, and he's brought many people to the gospel. Shiblon, the second son has also done a lot of good for the church. He's not as... celebrated (idk if that's the right word) as Heleman, but he is a good man who serves the Lord. Corianton, on the other hand, isn't stalwart in the gospel like his brothers. According to Alma, he doesn't listen, is cocky, forsakes the ministry, and goes after the harlot, Isabel.

Alma says, "O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites (the people they were teaching); for when they saw your conduct, they would not believe in my words."

For when they saw your conduct....

This scripture just reminded me how important it is to watch my own conduct. Not because I'm in the same boat as Corianton, but because you never know who is watching.  I just hope that if someone were to watch my conduct, it would make them want to learn more about the doctrine of Christ rather than turn away.


Not one of us is perfect, not me,  not Corianton, or even Alma. But that's okay. As long as we try our best to become more like Christ, and rely on his atonement, it will all work out in the end.

Week One: Thou Didst Hear Me.

In Alma Chapter 33 of the Book of Mormon, the ancient prophet, Alma, teaches about prayer. He focuses a lot on the idea that prayers can be offered virtually anywhere at anytime. In fact, he quotes another prophet, Zenos, saying that the Lord was merciful and  heard his cries regardless of whether he was in his home, his field, or even his closet. Seven times he says that the Lord heard him. "I did cry unto thee in my field...and thou didst hear me." "When I did turn to my house thou didst hear me." "Thou has also heard me when I have been cast out and have been despised by mine enemies; yea, thou didst hear my cries." Finally, he brings it home by saying, (and I just love this part) "And it is because of thy Son that thou has been merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy;"
Now, I've never felt truly "cast out" and "despised," but I've still always felt like the Lord heard my cries. Whether the problems be big or small, He has never failed to answer me.

Here's just one example. Because I'm intending to turn this blog to a missionary blog, I think it'd be appropriate to start with you from the beginning. My decision to serve a mission.

Since I was about 14 I've had a desire to serve a mission. When I say desire, I mean that I decided that if I wasn't married when I was 21, I thought it would be something I'd enjoy. But 21 was so far away, and I hated the uncertainty of the typical plan "if I'm not married I'll go."

Then, like a quadrillion other girls, President Monson's announcement that missionary girls can now begin serving at 19 changed my life in only a few seconds. I quickly called my mom, and we talked about how exciting this news was. After a few minutes she asked me, "So are you gonna do it?" I responded with a, "Ya, mom, I really think I am." "I thought you would" was her reply.

About a month and a half later, I began to have doubts. I had prayed about whether  I should take advantage of this new opportunity, and it seemed like a good idea...but I was just really worried. What if this wasn't really Heavenly Father's plan for me? Did I want to serve for the right reasons, or was I just worried about being left out? Nineteen is just so young to go through the temple, what if I wasn't ready?

Then, one morning I was rummaging through the fridge when I saw a magnet my roommate had put up. It said something like "Learning the Lord's Will Can Give Direction to Our Lives" with a list of things you can do to find direction. Boy, if there was one thing I needed, it was direction. So I just started going down the list. After praying, I felt like the next step was for me to ask for a Priesthood blessing.

I had never just asked for a blessing before, but considering that my decision would without a doubt effect the rest of my life, I called up my dad and arranged a time for me to meet him in his office. Upon arrival, me and my dad just talked for a while about my concerns, and he gave me some great advice (like he always does, seriously, my dad rocks at advice). I won't share the details of the blessing, but afterwords I knew that the Lord would let me know, very soon, and very personally what I should choose. My confusion didn't go away, but at least my fears were calming down. He wouldn't leave me hanging, not with something this important.

The next day I went to the temple and read my patriarchal blessing. Going on a mission still seemed like a good idea, but I still didn't have the real confirmation that I needed.

The next day, the only thing left that I could think of and hadn't tried was fasting. It was a Sunday, and I went to class like normal... Though I'd been doing my best to be close to The Spirit, nothing seemed to pop out at me during Sacrament Meeting or Sunday School.

Then it came.

Sitting in class, listening to the teacher as she talked about something not relating to missions at all, my answer came. It's kind of hard to explain. The Spirit had been in our meeting and all of the sudden I felt like my mind was opened. Very clearly, I knew my answer. Whether I served a mission or not was completely, 100% my choice. I always had felt like there was ONE path that Heavenly Father wanted me to find. But sitting in that meeting, I realized how false that idea was. Heavenly Father loves us, and it doesn't matter which decision I made, He would bless me, and He would give me work to do.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but in that moment I decided that I was going to go on a mission, not because I felt like I had to to fulfill a secret plan, but because I truly wanted to. I want those missionary experiences. I want the long days, and the discussions, and the new culture, and people, and the discouragement, and the joys, and the service, and the families, and the conviction, and the worn shoes, and the ability to teach. I want to be a missionary.

From that moment on, my decision has been made. In fact, I'm expecting my call to serve as early as next week. The answer to my prayer may seem strange to some, but I know that what I felt was The Spirit. It was so strong, and so clear, and so comforting, it couldn't have been anything else.

Like Zenos, I can testify that thou didst hear me.

Getting Started

For my Book of Mormon Class this semester, I have to write weekly reflections on what we've read in class, and share them somehow.   I figure that while I'm serving a mission, my family will probably post my weekly letter to friends and family somewhere anyways, so I might as well make a blog that I can use now for BoM, and my family later to give updates on how I'm doing in the mission field. Here it goes!