Week One: Thou Didst Hear Me.

In Alma Chapter 33 of the Book of Mormon, the ancient prophet, Alma, teaches about prayer. He focuses a lot on the idea that prayers can be offered virtually anywhere at anytime. In fact, he quotes another prophet, Zenos, saying that the Lord was merciful and  heard his cries regardless of whether he was in his home, his field, or even his closet. Seven times he says that the Lord heard him. "I did cry unto thee in my field...and thou didst hear me." "When I did turn to my house thou didst hear me." "Thou has also heard me when I have been cast out and have been despised by mine enemies; yea, thou didst hear my cries." Finally, he brings it home by saying, (and I just love this part) "And it is because of thy Son that thou has been merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy;"
Now, I've never felt truly "cast out" and "despised," but I've still always felt like the Lord heard my cries. Whether the problems be big or small, He has never failed to answer me.

Here's just one example. Because I'm intending to turn this blog to a missionary blog, I think it'd be appropriate to start with you from the beginning. My decision to serve a mission.

Since I was about 14 I've had a desire to serve a mission. When I say desire, I mean that I decided that if I wasn't married when I was 21, I thought it would be something I'd enjoy. But 21 was so far away, and I hated the uncertainty of the typical plan "if I'm not married I'll go."

Then, like a quadrillion other girls, President Monson's announcement that missionary girls can now begin serving at 19 changed my life in only a few seconds. I quickly called my mom, and we talked about how exciting this news was. After a few minutes she asked me, "So are you gonna do it?" I responded with a, "Ya, mom, I really think I am." "I thought you would" was her reply.

About a month and a half later, I began to have doubts. I had prayed about whether  I should take advantage of this new opportunity, and it seemed like a good idea...but I was just really worried. What if this wasn't really Heavenly Father's plan for me? Did I want to serve for the right reasons, or was I just worried about being left out? Nineteen is just so young to go through the temple, what if I wasn't ready?

Then, one morning I was rummaging through the fridge when I saw a magnet my roommate had put up. It said something like "Learning the Lord's Will Can Give Direction to Our Lives" with a list of things you can do to find direction. Boy, if there was one thing I needed, it was direction. So I just started going down the list. After praying, I felt like the next step was for me to ask for a Priesthood blessing.

I had never just asked for a blessing before, but considering that my decision would without a doubt effect the rest of my life, I called up my dad and arranged a time for me to meet him in his office. Upon arrival, me and my dad just talked for a while about my concerns, and he gave me some great advice (like he always does, seriously, my dad rocks at advice). I won't share the details of the blessing, but afterwords I knew that the Lord would let me know, very soon, and very personally what I should choose. My confusion didn't go away, but at least my fears were calming down. He wouldn't leave me hanging, not with something this important.

The next day I went to the temple and read my patriarchal blessing. Going on a mission still seemed like a good idea, but I still didn't have the real confirmation that I needed.

The next day, the only thing left that I could think of and hadn't tried was fasting. It was a Sunday, and I went to class like normal... Though I'd been doing my best to be close to The Spirit, nothing seemed to pop out at me during Sacrament Meeting or Sunday School.

Then it came.

Sitting in class, listening to the teacher as she talked about something not relating to missions at all, my answer came. It's kind of hard to explain. The Spirit had been in our meeting and all of the sudden I felt like my mind was opened. Very clearly, I knew my answer. Whether I served a mission or not was completely, 100% my choice. I always had felt like there was ONE path that Heavenly Father wanted me to find. But sitting in that meeting, I realized how false that idea was. Heavenly Father loves us, and it doesn't matter which decision I made, He would bless me, and He would give me work to do.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but in that moment I decided that I was going to go on a mission, not because I felt like I had to to fulfill a secret plan, but because I truly wanted to. I want those missionary experiences. I want the long days, and the discussions, and the new culture, and people, and the discouragement, and the joys, and the service, and the families, and the conviction, and the worn shoes, and the ability to teach. I want to be a missionary.

From that moment on, my decision has been made. In fact, I'm expecting my call to serve as early as next week. The answer to my prayer may seem strange to some, but I know that what I felt was The Spirit. It was so strong, and so clear, and so comforting, it couldn't have been anything else.

Like Zenos, I can testify that thou didst hear me.