I Lived in Heaven a Long Time Ago

One of the truths I hold most precious is that I am a child of a Heavenly Father, and that I lived with Him before I was born. In fact, we all did.

Before any of us came to this earth life, we lived as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, or God. As God told the prophet Jeremiah, "Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations" (Jeremiah 1:5).

Just as God knew and had a plan for Jeremiah, He has a plan for each of us too.



"We do not know many details about life in that premortal sphere, but we do know some. Our Heavenly Father has revealed to us who He is, who we are, and who we can become.

Back in that first estate, you knew with absolute certainty that God existed because you saw and heard Him. You knew Jesus Christ, who would become the Lamb of God. You had faith in Him. And you knew that your destiny was not to stay in the security of your premortal home. As much as you loved that eternal sphere, you knew you wanted and needed to embark on a journey," said Dieter F. Uchtdorf. To help us learn and grow into all we could be, God created a plan for us. In this plan, you "would depart from the arms of your Father, pass through a veil of forgetfulness, receive a mortal body, and learn and experience things that hopefully would help you grow to become more like Father in Heaven and return to His presence.

In that sacred place, surrounded by those you knew and loved, the great question on your lips and in your heart must have been 'Will I return safely to my heavenly home?'" he continued.

I get chills every time I read that statement. What that time must have felt like... There we stood on the edge of eternity, excited for our new adventure. I imagine the relief we must have felt when we learned that we would not go to earth alone, but that we would be blessed with families to help us along the way. We would also have the gift of prayer, enabling us to communicate with our Father. God would even bless us with prophets who would act as guides as we went through our journey.

Mostly, I imagine the overwhelming calmness that we must have felt when we learned that Jesus Christ would be our Savior. This was our older brother, and we trusted Him. We knew of His kindness, of His dedication to our Father, and of His unfailing love. We desperately needed a Savior, and we knew He would not fail us.


Painting by Liz Lemon Swindle.

The Lord revealed to the prophet, Abraham, more truth about our life before this.

"Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences (that's us) that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born" (Abraham 3:22-23).

God had confidence in us. He knew life on earth would be a struggle, full of heartbreaks and accidents, but He also knew that we had good souls. Though we would not remember our heavenly home, our spirits would be able to recognize truth when they felt it. We would be able to face our challenges with courage, and if we would choose to look toward the Savior, Jesus Christ, we would come out victorious.

God's purpose in all of this is clear, He has told us "Behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39).

Knowledge of my pre-earth life has given me peace and perspective throughout my life. I know who I am, I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father. I know that my Father has a great plan for me, just as He did Jeremiah and Abraham. In moments of hardship, I fall back on these truths. I know that through this plan God created for us, we will be able to return to live with Him, our Savior, and our families for eternity. And I can't think of anything better than that.

"In the end, you knew God would be just—that His goodness would triumph. You had participated in the great heavenly councils and knew that your Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, would provide a way for you to be cleansed from sin and rescued from physical death. You had faith that, in the end, you would rejoice and join your voice with a heavenly chorus singing praises to His holy name" said Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

To learn more about God's plan for you and your family, comment, message me on FaceBook, or visit http://mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation

God is Love :)

On this day of love, may we all remember the love our Father in Heaven has for us.
 

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39
 

"God is love."- 1 John4:8

"Oh all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads, and receive the pleasing word of God, and Feast upon his love; for  ye may, if your minds are firm, forever." - Jacob 3:2.


Each day I am taught more and more just how aware of us God really is. He is in the details of our lives. I absolutely know it. 

"God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other... in the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5). So often our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks- but what glorious consequences can flow from small but deliberate deeds." -Spencer W. Kimball.

My challenge to you today, help someone else feel God's love for them! Find a need and fill it!

It's Valentine's, so let's SPREAD the LOVE!

Hold to the Ground You've Already Won.

Just before I left on my mission, someone very dear to me expressed some concerns they were having with their faith. They had so many unanswered questions, so many things they didn't understand...And it broke my heart to see this person struggling.

Throughout my mission, I have seen this same problem over and over. The Gospel of Jesus Christ provides many answers for the honest in heart, but it does not tell us every mystery of heaven at first glance. Faith and patience are required.

The counsel I gave this dear friend of mine, and the counsel I give to all who may be struggling is this:

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited." -Jeffery R. Holland

We do not always understand why a loving Heavenly Father allows certain trials in our lives. We do not always understand what He is trying to teach us, or why our faithfulness seems to be so slow to be rewarded or answered. But we must not lose the spiritual witnesses of truth we have already gained. And surely, answers will eventually come. We must hold to the ground we have already won.

And so in the meantime we do all we can. We remain faithful. We read our scriptures and pray. We continue to seek guidance. We work as hard as we can. And then we wait in faith. And we look to the source of truth and light.

"Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed" (D&C 123:17).

Jeffery R. Holland continues:
"When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes...The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know."

To all those who may feel forgotten, or like the Lord is not answering their prayers, I plead with you to be patient, to remain faithful, and to hold to the ground you've already won. I testify that we do have a Father in Heaven who loves us and is so aware of us. He does hear our cries, and He will answer them in His own time. 

"For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer. For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee" (3 Nephi 22:7-10)

If any of you are having a hard time recognizing answers to your prayers, or feel forgotten by God, message me on Facebook, let's talk about it and try to find answers together.

For a link to the rest of this INCREDIBLE talk by Jeffery R. Holland, click here :)

It Matters to Him

"All through my life the counsel to depend on prayer has been prized above almost any other advice I have received. It has become an integral part of me, an anchor, a constant source of strength, and the basis for my knowledge of things divine." -Ezra Taft Benson

Like Ezra Benson, prayer played a big role in my upbringing.

Each morning of my childhood started off with a prayer and a hug before I ran out the door to head to school. Throughout the day, my family would pray before we ate dinner, drove long distances, or started various family outings. It  also wasn't uncommon for me to come up the stairs morning or night, and see my parents kneeling at their bedside praying together.

Nighttime family prayers were always my favorite, though.

Each day of my childhood was closed with my family kneeling together in prayer. With the TV paused, the books put down, and the texting left to the side, we'd all rush up the stairs to gather around my parent's bed or the family room couch for family prayer. Rarely would we miss a night of this tradition.

My parents went through a lot of effort to instill this pattern of prayer in their children, and whenever I sought counsel for a problem, my mom's advice was generally to pray about it.

The spring I turned 15, I was having a hard time finding a swimsuit that I thought was tasteful and modest. As summer came closer and closer, I started feeling a little panicked.  I had been raised with high standards of modesty, and I felt like I had been on a thousand swimsuit websites and in a million stores (in reality, probably only two), and there was nothing that would fill my modesty requirements as well as my budget. It sounds like such a silly concern, but I feared being trapped in a granny-suit all summer long. One night, as I was fretting over the issue, my mom finally told me to just go and pray about it. She said, in effect, "Audrey, tonight when you pray, tell your Heavenly Father what is going on. If this is truly important to you, it will be important to Him, and He will help you find a modest swimsuit." So I did. I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me find a modest/cute/affordable swimsuit when I went shopping the next day.

The following morning, my mom took my sister and me to a little boutique we had heard good things about. I walked in, and lo and behold, the very first suit I tried on was modest, was moderately priced, and was pretty darn cute...It seemed to be nothing short of a small miracle.

It was such a simple and silly request--"Please Heavenly Father, help me find a cute swimsuit for the summer,"--but it really meant a lot to me. This experience strengthened my testimony that someone was listening to my prayers.

Since that spring, Heavenly Father has continued to make Himself manifest to me in answers to my prayers. For me, answers have come in many different ways. Sometimes its a feeling of comfort; other times it's an encouraging word from a close friend; or perhaps I'll be having a really hectic day with a million deadlines to meet, and somehow the pieces fall into place at the last minute. Whether I need clarity, comfort, encouragement, direction, stress relief, or peace, Heavenly Father has never failed to answer my heartfelt pleas.

Prayer has been a blessing and strength to my life. It is a gift from a loving God. He knows us, and we can come to know Him as we spend time with Him through prayer.

If any of you are struggling with prayer, are not sure how to recognize answers to your prayers, or even aren't sure how to pray, message me on Facebook. :) Let's talk about it.

Create a Holy Place

Just over a year ago, a woman named Ann M. Dibb (one of the leaders in the LDS faith) gave a talk about the Holy Places in our lives. She talked about how "holy places" can be geographical locations such as church buildings, temples or homes. She acknowledged that places can be distinct conditions, positions, or states of mind. She said,  "This means holy places can also include moments in time—moments when the Holy Ghost testifies to us, moments when we feel Heavenly Father’s love, or moments when we receive an answer to our prayers. Even more, I believe any time you have the courage to stand for what is right, especially in situations where no one else is willing to do so, you are creating a holy place."

After reading this talk, I contemplated the "holy places" in my life.  I thought about the moment when I knelt on my bed and prayed after I finished the Book of Mormon for the first time. I also thought about the places in my home town I used to go to sort out my thoughts when I was troubled, like the walking path behind my  parents' house. One of my favorite holy places is the area rug in my childhood home where we said countless nighttime prayers as a family.  Other holy places included the high school newspaper room, the first time I played the violin in church, and the sidewalk outside my college dorm where I said "no" to things that I knew where not right. Each of these places and moments shaped a part of my character and strengthened the conviction of my testimony.

Over the course of my mission, I've continued to find holy places. A holy place was found in the tears on my cheeks after we were dropped by my favorite person to teach. Another was found in feeling happy and at home around the table of a family I fell in love with. It is a strange feeling to look down a street and know exactly which homes have copies of the Book of  Mormon, which homes  you have prayed with after they have recently lost a loved one, or which homes felt the Spirit when you testified of the love and redeeming power of our Savior. In this regard, even an entire street can become a holy place.

I love thinking about the actual paths the Savior walked and the holy places He created there. I can only imagine being one of Christ's original disciples and remembering the corner where Christ healed the blind, the alley where the woman with the issue of blood reached out to touch the Savior's robe, or the tomb where Christ raised Lazarus from the dead. His life was absolutely filled with holy places because He filled His life with holy things... I'm sure as a child He spent time studying the words of the prophets, and many nights on His knees seeking for direction from His Father in Heaven.

All of these holy places prepared our Savior for that night in the Garden of Gethsemane where He would "tremble from pain...bleed from every pore...and suffer both body and Spirit" (D&C 19:18) in our behalf. Here, the Savior gave all He had to the Father. Through His sacrifice and love expressed in this holy place, we too can overcome the negative affects of sin.

My point in all of this...We all have the power to CREATE holy places. Elaine S. Dalton said, "I truly believe that one virtuous young woman or young man, led by the Spirit, can change the world."

Spencer W. Kimball, a prophet in the 70s and 80s, once said, "God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs.  Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other...In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5).  So often our acts of service consists of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help from mundane tasks--but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds."

On the back of my nametag, I have written "create a holy place," and I pray each day that Heavenly Father will help me do that.

We all are blessed with unique gifts and talents that Heavenly Father has given to us to bless others, and those moments when we're blessing others' lives and magnifying our own gifts are sacred.  So whether you spend extra time in the scriptures or on your knees, share your testimony with a friend, or serve a perfect stranger, my challenge to you is to create a holy place today.

Week 7/15 :Full Purpose of Heart

Christ has given us everything. He's given us an atonement through which we can repent and return to live with Him and The Father again. He's suffered for our pains and sorrows, so He really knows what each individual is dealing with. He's even given us the earth itself for us to live on.  He's descended below all things, and risen above every pain and conflict that has ever existed. He gave the blind man sight, the deaf back his hearing, He even raised people from the dead.

If Christ is so powerful, and so above us, what can we possibly give Him that's of value that He wouldn't be able to just create Himself?

I'm of the opinion that there is really only one thing that quite fits that bill. Ironically, the only  true gift we can give Him is something He's already given us. Its our agency.  Our agency is the only unique thing we can give to Christ.

In class this week, we talked about how the greatest works of God are manifest in the everyday lives of obedient people. For example, the elements don't have the power to decide to follow Christ. When Christ asks the sea to be calm, it has to be, the sea has to listen. Contrary to the elements, we do have a choice. Christ can't force us to "come unto Him." That decision is all on us. Isn't that idea amazing? That after the countless worlds Christ has created, after the infinite atonement He has suffered, the greatest gift we can possibly give Him is to obey and follow Him? And the crazy thing is, if we follow his plea to follow Him, He blesses us with even more. It's not something I totally understand. Christ gives us everything we know, gives us a way to be clean again, and  promises us eternal life if we just follow Him and the Father? It seems almost too good to be true.

Well, if that's my job, that is to come unto Christ, I want to do it as its described in 3 Ne 10:6 and come unto Him with "full purpose of heart." Christ has given us so much, and asked for so little. He promises eternal salvation if we just follow the commandments. Anyways, my point in this is: if Christ is so willing to give me everything, and asks only for my obedience in return, well then, I am going to be the best follower that I know how to be.

As a missionary, I'm going to be subject to A LOT of rules that I'm definitely not used to. And while some of the rule I think may be a little... much... (i.e. you have to wash your car once a week, what the heck is that about?!) I know that my success as a missionary will be highly dependent on whether or not I'm serving and obeying with "full purpose of heart." I'm not saying that washing my car is really going to matter that much, but rather its the attitude I have towards all of the little rules that is going to affect my service  (including whether or not I take car of my car as asked). I really love this next quote, especially as it pertains to missionary work.


"When obedience ceases to be and irritant and becomes our goal, in that moment God will endow us with power." -Ezra Taft Benson

I know that promise is real, and have seen it, at least to some extent in my life already. I'm for sure not a perfect follower of Christ, but, like any other Christian, I'm doing my best. What was that thing that Elder Holland said in General Conference? It was something about how with the exception of Christ, God has only ever worked with imperfect people...ya, He's pretty used to it. The beautiful thing is that every time we mess up, if we recommit to do our best to follow Christ in the future, we are forgiven time and time again. 

Anyways, at the end of the day, if the only thing I can give to Christ is my agency to follow Him, by golly, I want to do it with "full purpose of heart."

Week 14: Charity.

Another long one:)

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things..if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail." Moroni 7 45-46

This is an excerpt from my journal during my second year of Young Women's Girls Camp:
"We just got through with a lesson from one of the sister missionaries. She told us about a ton of amazing ladies that have been in the church and how the grounds are named after them. [My YW leader] got up after she left, and told us that she felt prompted to tell us that there will come a time in our life when we have to decide what kind of person we are going to be. She said the decision may be now, or then years from now, but when it comes, or even before, we should pick someone to model ourselves after."

That day I chose a handful of women that I hoped to be like someday.  That list has been added to many times since I was 13, and it continues to grow. I didn't realize it at the time, but now as I reflect back on those ladies, they all have at least one thing in common. They have all taught me something about charity.

I've thought a lot about what I wanted to post tonight. A few days ago I spent a lot of time reading my old journals looking for specific examples of times when these ladies showed me charity, and I found a lot. Surprisingly, none of them seemed right to include in the post.... I think the reason why none of the experiences felt quite right was maybe because
1. I didn't want to box in my idea of "charity." It's not something you an "arrive" at. Charity, I think, is a lot of things, and  I felt with each combo of experiences I tried, I wasn't able to capture what my actual perception of charity is.
2. This list of ladies is pretty long, there's no way I could include an experience with each one of them that portrayed what they taught me about charity, but there's no way I could just leave one or two out because without them, my perception is totally altered.

Conclusion: Charity is a lifestyle. I don't think that's really news to anyone, but it's something I think is definitely worth thinking about. Maybe the real reason I couldn't find experiences I wanted to write about is because charity can't be rolled up into "an experience."

When I think of my definition of charity, I think of mango cherry popsicles, tutoring in math, and many hours spent rehearsing for performances. I think of giving 12 year-old girls hope that they could become something worth being proud of. I think of standing up for a first-year  news staff member who hasn't quite learned how to work in the system. I think of silly camp songs about cheeseburgers or Noah, odd jobs, and new skills. I think of dead animal rooms with giant moose heads, and eating my first artichoke. I think of the best mom I could ever ask for who was raised by a pretty incredible woman herself. I think of aunts who take me shopping, or support me in my latest money making venture. I think of Christ-centered homes where friends are always welcome.

From rolling on the floor with laughter (sometimes literally), to tearful embraces, to some of the strongest testimonies I've ever heard, these women exemplify exactly what I think it means to be a charitable disciple of Christ.

In my ward each year, every day of Young Womens' camp you were assigned a "secret sister" for the day. Your job was to keep an eye on that sister all day and at the end of the day, all the girls and leaders from the ward stood together in a circle and said the things we noticed  about our "secret sister" or just the things we love about them. One night, when it was my turn to talk about a leader who has had a pretty significant impact on me, I got a little teary thinking about how grateful I am for her influence. That night I recorded this, "How can you possibly express your love to someone you feel so indebted to?"

Isn't that kinda how it works with Christ? He has given us so much, how can we possibly show Him our gratitude when the debt is so big?

I'm no expert, and I'm not sure I'll ever be, but here's one way:

 "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God"  (Mosiah 2:17)

According to the Bible Dictionary, Charity is "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love...the pure love of Christ."

If there's one thing those women have taught me, it's that people, all people, ought to be loved.  Regardless of who they are, or what choices they make, everyone needs someone who believes in them and who is constantly rooting for them. They showed me their love through their constant attitude of charity, and I am so grateful for their examples.

I'm gonna wrap up with this quote by Marvin J. Ashton:

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge, or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."

I'm grateful for that YW leader and the challenge she made to me to pick women to model my life after. To me that was an act of charity, and that simple challenge really has made a lasting impact in my life.

Anyways, I hope throughout my life that I will be able to develop a lifestyle of charity, and that eventually I will be able to love people as Christ would have me love them!