Floor Plan Models

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B-1E98SEo-YaQWM1Sm42RHVCLU0

Reflection 11

Capture: I am so grateful for my experiences this semester in teaching. Between TAing, my calling, and lego league, I have been able to notice a lot of growth within myself, as well as areas for improvement.

Analyze: Take this week in lego league for example, I felt like a real teacher. Working side-by-side along the kids, it was so neat to see their progress. This week, they continued to program their attachments. A lot of these kids haven't programmed before, so there is a learning curve, and so there is a learning curve, but its actually been a lot of fun. I worked this week a lot with Kylee and Jason. It was rewarding to watch their small victories as we worked together. 

Action: I want to maintain the attitude of directed learning that we had this last week. The kids seemed excited about the task at hand, and I was excited too! 

Reflection 10/Response to my STL teaching

As usual, I have lots of thoughts about teaching this week. First, I'd like to sum up my STL experience, and then I'd like to move into couple other observations. My capture, analyze and action kind of just roll into one on this entry.

STL:

1. Stick to the lesson plan guide. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but when I prepped my lesson, I forgot that we had an outline already available for us. Dumb. In getting everything put together, I had a hard time gaging what pieces I should put where, and how long I should spend on them. While I was teaching, I realized that I had misjudged the time, and became quite flustered, and as a result of some on-the-fly choices I made, the lesson felt very disjointed.

2. Choose your words BEFORE you teach. In my video, I noticed that I stumbled over what I was going to say several times. This could be really helped if I practice what I'm going to say beforehand.

3. You don't look quite as stupid as you feel. When I plan my lessons, I always picture them being so smooth and fabulous. I seem to forget what it’s like to be nervous, and so when I get up and teach and the nervous energy comes, my gut reaction is just to sit back down. It’s easy to have stage fright, but when I dwell on those anxious feelings, it can really get in the way of effective teaching. For my next lesson, I want to especially work on sticking any inhibition in the back of my mind, and focus solely on the lesson at hand.  

2) Just remember that it's not as bad as you usually think it is.

4. Also, stop slouching. It looks bad.

Okay, now for my cool story.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I coach a lego league with a couple of my cousins. We also have a couple other adults that help us with various logistical things. On our team there are 10 kids between 9-12.  There is one kid in particular, Parker, who is especially disruptive. He is defiant, noisy, and contributes the most outlandish ideas.  I recognize this. However, I have been really upset about the way that some of the other adults treat him. Often, I’ll catch one of the facilitators putting him or his ideas down, treating him like a nuisance and like he is trying to be difficult. Yesterday, Parker’s was restless. He was way behind on his project, and was having a really hard time staying on track. Knowing that this was the case, I went and sat by him and decided to be his partner for the day. We gathered the right lego pieces and started to try to figure out the next step for his attachment. As usual, some of his ideas were crazy, however, instead of telling him explicitly that they wouldn’t work, I chose to let him figure that out. He suggested an idea and I said, “Okay, let’s build it and see if it will work!” I got up for a brief moment, and went across the room. When I came back, Parker angrily informed me that one of the facilitators had taken away one of the legos he was using because he again, assumed Parker was just messing around. Not wanting to cause a scene, I waited for a couple minutes and then approached the facilitator.

“Do you know where the launcher is that Parker was using?” I asked him.

“Ya, does he need it?”

“He wants to use it for his attachment.”

“It’s not gonna work, and besides, when kids use that they usually just turn it into a gun and shoot it at the other kids.” I took a deep breath, frustrated at the mold he consistently shoved Parker into.

“I agree that the idea probably isn’t going to work,” I began, “but shouldn’t Parker be the one to figure that out?”

The facilitator then gave me the desired piece and I returned it to Parker. Within a few minutes, Parker had concluded that using a launcher for his attachment wasn’t practical, and he began to explore other alternatives.

I’m all for boundaries. I’m all for discipline too. What I am not for, however, is making kids feel stupid, or sticking labels on them. People live up to the expectations you set for them. If you expect good behavior and consistent effort, people rise to that.

Anyways, this experience was a good reminder to me of the kind of classroom culture I will foster. 

Reflection 8

You know, the more the semester progresses, the more excited I become about teaching. I think it's my passion.

Capture: 

In my ward, I am a Relief Society Instructor. I love this calling. It forces me to study the gospel, and I love how I always feel the Spirit when I teach.  Lately, I have been using my calling as an arena to  try to improve my technical teaching skills. Each lesson, I set specific goals based on what feedback I've received, typically from this class. My goals last week were to utilize proximity, and to have smooth transitions as people commented in class. 

Analyze:

The lesson actually went rather well. I focused on a few specific techniques.

1. Proximity. Throughout the lesson, I made a conscious effort to move around as I taught. I roamed tables and rows, trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible. 

2. The use of powerpoint allowed me both structure and versatility as I navigated the lesson. Having visuals also helped the class focus on the quote or question we were discussing.

3. I also really focused on making smooth transitions as people offered comments. 

4. Preparation for this lesson was fairly extensive, and so the familiarity with the material allowed me a lot of flexibility.

The lesson wasn't perfect, of course. I at times stumbled around my words, and filler words like "um" probably aren't going to be abandoned anytime soon. However, all things considered, this lesson served as a good checkpoint in my personal progress as a teacher, so I was excited about it.

Action: Build upon the strategies I used in this lesson for my next one! 

reflection 7

Looking back on my last few reflections, I realize that it may seem like I'm in a constant state of identity crisis. I promise, that's not actually the case.  I do, however, want to be honest with myself as I go through my own learning process. These reflections have become a great place to sort my thoughts.

Let me preface this. All I have ever wanted to do my entire life was be a stay-at-home mom. Big careers have never attracted me, because in the end, I know all I want to do is raise a family. That's one of the major reasons I was attracted to teaching as a major.  Good benefits, my hours would line up with my kids' hours, weekends, holidays and summers off... Teaching has been my safe fall back. My just-in-case-insurance-policy if you will. In all honesty, if I had my way, I wouldn't teach for more than five years.

With that intro, I think we're ready to begin.

Capture:

I observed John Moss' classroom this last week, and my experience was nothing short of incredible. 

Class began simply enough, he welcomed the students, followed up with their homecoming weekend, and then began dissecting an old highlight reel with them. After, he and the class discussed areas for improvement. Technically this guy was good, but beyond that, he was flat out inspiring. I just don't know how else to put it. He gave this pep talk of sorts as he sent the kids to begin their work, and It was evident that Mr. Moss really cared that his students become the best that they can be. 

 Mr. Moss gave us a tour of his studio and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The set-up, the equipment, the classroom management, the product, the skills, EVERYTHING had me floored.  They even had their own server. I still can't get over that. Anyways, I digress. 

He let us in on the story of how the program came to be what it is. With 15 years of hard work, he built his program from the ground up, and what he's done is remarkable. At one point in our discussion, an administrator came in to ask a favor. She related her sincere concern that when Mr. Moss retires, they will literally have to hire 3 people to replace him. After seeing all that he does, she wasn't kidding!

The more he showed us around, the more I thought to myself how much I would love that kind of career. Creating and nurturing such a successful program would be immensely rewarding, and I believe its within my capabilities. Mr. Moss' classroom had me completely mesmerized. 

I know, by this point in my reflection you were wondering where the crisis comes in....Okay, okay, I'll tell you.

As I drooled over Mr. Moss' studio, a thought caught me completely off guard, "Am I really willing to give all of this up?"

Building a program, relationships with the community that span generations, being such an integral part of a school, inspiring students daily.... Am I willing to give that up should I have the opportunity to be a full-time homemaker? That particular concern isn't one that hits me often, so I was truly startled. 

As a reflex,  I countered that thought with, "Of course! Who are you kidding? In a heart beat." Throughout the next couple of days, I mulled over this conflict repeatedly. Would I really be willing to give up teaching?

Analyze:

My lifestyle is currently the same as probably most BYU students. I go to school full-time, have two part-time jobs, volunteer weekly, spend lots of time with my family, have a calling, and am dating someone. Down-time can be pretty hard to come by during most weeks. Though all of these opportunities are wholesome and rewarding, often I worry that I tend to stack too much on my plate until all I can offer each opportunity is a half-hearted attempt.  And for right now, my crazy, busy, fast-paced lifestyle is fine, because all I have to worry about is me, and for now I can be as selfish as I want.

But... I don't want to live my entire life like that... always racing against the clock to my next appointment, or feeling like I can't give my whole heart to anything because I'm too spread thin. Especially when it comes to family and motherhood. I'm not saying that working outside the home means that you are unable to fulfill your role as a mother. I get that many homes have working moms either out of necessity or choice. Finding a balance is possible, and it works for many families.  I however, don't want that path for me and my family.

I would love to give my whole self to teaching. But I want to give myself to family more.

Action: In the end, we'll see what happens. If I end up having a career,  at least I'm far enough into this program to realize that I love teaching. If not, then not. I'm not sure that this kind of post is exactly what you're looking for in a weekly reflection, but it is a truthful representation of my personal reflections this week. So there you have it.

Reflection 6 / first high school visit

Two great experiences excited me about teaching this week. 

1.  I coach a first lego league each week for 10 9-14 year olds. Despite the fact that we have 3 coaches, some weeks managing those kids is just plain rough. As the semester has gone on, I've tried to apply the things we are learning in class to my weekly meetings with these kids.  Through doing things like always calling the kids by name, supporting their (sometimes outlandish) ideas, and using proximity, we've seen a large improvement in the kids behavior and productivity. Having this weekly practice time has really helped me to solidify some of these teaching techniques, and I'm excited to continue. 

2. I observed Lindsey McMurdie today, and had a fabulous experience. I don't know if I enjoyed this observation so much because I love her subjects, or because she's the first female teacher I've observed, but either way, I loved it. She gave both me and Matt excellent advice on being a new teacher, working with administration, and she shared with us her curriculum. She reassured me that you don't have to know everything about every program to be a good teacher. This visit made me super excited about my career. 

Reflection 5

This week's reflection is a bit of a jumbled mess, but that's kind of how my thoughts were this week, so I decided it was an accurate reflection of what happened.

Capture: When visiting schools this week, I noticed that of the three teachers I've seen, none of them seemed extremely passionate.

Analyze: Okay, not gonna lie. This discouraged me.  It kind of sent me into a panic. Given that I'm almost a junior, it's about time that I had an identity crisis, so I wasn't terribly surprised when it happened.

Its just that, as of late, I've rekindled my love for some old hobbies of mine, and I've been reminded of not only my skill in these areas, but how passionate I am about them. Now logically, I know that I don't want to pursue a career in any of these areas, so switching my major doesn't make sense. Just after feeling that fire, and then seeing the lack of passion from the teachers I've observed, and knowing my own limitations, I've wondered, "Can I be as passionate about technology as I need to be in order to impact lives?"

This question has been spinning circles in my head for a couple of weeks now, and watching these other teachers teach has really made me ponder if I am in the right place. And its not just about me and my personal fulfillment, but I noticed that as teachers lacked enthusiasm, so did their students. I don't want a classroom of apathy.

Action:
After a long talk with my best friend and personal reflection here's what I've come up with:

I love teaching. I know I love teaching. And I know, with practice, I have the potential to be a really good teacher. My sphere of influence is completely up to me. The subject I teach doesn't really matter. Technology, Math, English, Underwater Basket Weaving, it doesn't matter. I never decided to go into teaching because I excel at one subject over another. I chose teaching because I want to be on the front lines in helping youth.

My passion isn't a subject. My passion is people.

Junior High Observation 2

Observations today:

General observations 

- I liked that all of the computers were on one side of the classroom, with tables on the other side. 

- sooo many phones and head phones out. Jr high has changed since I was there

Observations from talking to Mr. Alder

- You still have to be a jack of all trades, pick which areas you want to emphasize in because you can't be an expert in all of them.

- don't reinvent the wheel, utilize your resources. 

- There is no fair way around it. A lot of grading is subjective. 

Reflection 4.

Today was my first experience in observing a junior high classroom. All of the things I had expected to see were there. Students, computers, machines, inspirational quotes on the walls, smart phones out on desks, enthusiasm for learning, etc. Just as I imagined, I really enjoyed being there, mingling with the kids as they went about their work. There was one thing though, that really caught me off guard.
It happened while I was assisting a group. James, one of the students, made some racist, off-hand comment about Mexicans. At first, I wasn't sure that I had caught the comment in context, so I didn't say anything... But as the next moments went by, and the comments persisted, I realized that my ears had not deceived me, and that his comments were actually really hurtful, especially considering that one of his group members was half Mexican. I forgot about this part of junior high.
I've reflected on this moment over and over the entire day. I've replayed what was said, by all of the kids in the group, what I said to try to stand up for the little 1/2 Mexican boy, what I didn't say, what I should have said. When I am a teacher, I will have a zero tolerance policy for racist comments and all other types of put downs. Now, in this situation, the teacher didn't know what happened, and I'm not assuming things about him, but in my classroom, from day one it will be known that my classroom is a place of respect for all people.
This is not the lesson I expected to get from my observation today, but its what happened, and I'm stickin to it!

Relfection 3

Teaching has always attracted me as a career. Growing up, I was blessed many times to have teachers who were absolutely outstanding. You know the type that push you, validate you, and make you feel empowered? Well, they were littered throughout my school experience. Their influence played a large roll in many of the decisions I made as a youth, and I am grateful for their examples.

People often ask me why I want to teach junior high specifically, and that is a valid question. Here is the answer: The students are impressionable, and I know, given the chance, I could leave a good impression.

I could site a lot of different experiences, and reasons to illustrate this, but here is what it comes down to. Junior high is an extremely important time when it comes to decision making. If I were to look back at all of my friends and the paths they chose for their lives, almost every time, I can pin point when they began that road to junior high.

That statement is true of my friends who turned to substance abuse, to the guy covered in tattoos, to my friends who had babies out of wedlock, and to my stalwart friends  all equally.  I'm not saying that people can't or won't change, or that everyone decides their lives in junior high, but most everyone I knew, including myself did.

Throw important life decisions in with acne, sports practice, bubbling hormones, family or societal problems,  mountains of homework, peer pressure, drugs, and more hormonal imbalances and what do you get? Chaos.

Talk about the key time to have the greatest impact! Good, moral teachers are crucial to every stage, but especially in junior high, and I want to be there to help with it all.

Reflection 2

Capture: Last week, when we received our first teaching assignments, I immediately got right to work. The following Tuesday seemed like a decade away as I finalized my plans, and I couldn't wait to blow my first assignment out of the water.  Verdict: Tuesday came, and lets just say, my lesson wasn't the hit I had hoped for.

Analyze: A few things stuck out to me in this process.

1.  Prepare, prepare, prepare! I should know this about myself by now, if I don't feel 100% ready before I present something, I usually get nervous and flop on my face. For some reason, I was under the impression that I had out grown this tendency, but Tuesday assured me that my weakness is alive and well.  Sure, I had spent a while on my lesson the week before, and then briefly went through it the night before, but given my track record, I should have known that if I was to really do a good job, I should have simply just put in more time and rehearsed it several more times.  Now, I recognize that there were some good points, but overall, the lesson had way more potential than I let it achieve.

2. Usually, when I find myself in these situations, I enter whirl pool of self pity and anger. Why didn't I prepare more? I feel like an idiot. I hate not being good at anything. I'm usually so comfortable in front of people, what's wrong with me? Why do I always feel like I'm at the bottom of the class?  Reading this, I know it sounds incredibly stupid, and as I type this, I realize that kind of attitude is unwarranted and just plain ridiculous. However, it is the reality most times when I come out of a situation feeling less than competent.  Here's what surprised me Tuesday though: As I sat down after my lesson, I knew that I really hadn't done a great job, or even a good job, and watching some of the other students do so so well usually would have discouraged me further..... I sat in my seat and waited for the feelings of idiocy to settle in... This is the weird thing though, they didn't come! In fact, the longer I sat there, the more motivated I felt. I watched person after person nail the assignment, and I thought to myself, I can see myself doing that. You know, of all the aspects of this major, I feel like my most potential is in my teaching abilities. I know what to do better for next time. 

Critique/Action: As dumb as it may sound, this experience reassured me of the good things to come. At least the mistakes I made in my teaching are fixable. My "action" this time is to take feedback I was given (proximity, more interaction with the students, show why your topic is important, etc) and apply it to my next teaching opportunity. I'm actually kind of excited.

Reflection 1

Capture:  This week in class, the ideology was presented that if a kid doesn't like broccoli, the solution isn't to give the kid more broccoli, or get mad at the kid for not eating the broccoli, but simply to disguise the broccoli.

Dip it in cheese, pour vinegar over it, serve it in a casserole. Simply change the context. Over time, the child will likely acquire a liking for broccoli without realizing changing process he is experiencing.

Analyze: This same philosophy can be applied to a class room. I can't count the number of times I personally have exclaimed "ewwww" when introduced to intimidating subject matter. Many times I have sat on the edge of my seat, ready to declare mutiny if the new concepts weren't presented clearly. Such was the case with Algebra and Chemistry. In those instances, I was being fed straight broccloli. And I detested every painful second.

Vastly different from my experiences with Algebra and Chemistry was my experience with reading. As a child I resisted reading quite defiantly. Reading was difficult. Reading was boring. Reading was something I could learn to do when I was older. Reading was my broccoli.

Enter in my cheese, my first grade teacher, Mrs. Walton.

Mrs. Walton must have sensed apprehension on the part of the entire class, for she made it her personal mission to instill a love of reading within us. For example, each student had a personal copy of the book, "My Father's Dragon." This small chapter book recounts the story of a young boy who goes on many unlikely adventures. Mrs. Walton used the excitement of these adventures to disguise the fact that page by page, we were learning how to read.

For instance, at one point in the book, the main character has to cross a crocodile-infested river. He searches through his backpack and discovers several lollipops and rubber bands. Using those tools, he attaches a lollipop to the tail of each crocodile. While the crocodiles are busy licking the lollipops attached to the tails of those beside them, the boy simply walks on top of their backs across the river.

We could have just read this humorous experience and called it a day. However, Mrs. Walton's dedication to really disguise our learning process ran deeper than just reading the words. To bring the story to life, she had each of us lie in a line across the classroom floor and attach a lollipop to the shoes of the neighbor directly in front of us. We stayed there, on our bellies, licking each other's lollipops for a quite a while as she read aloud to us.

Experiences like this changed what I had originally thought about reading. No longer was it just difficult, boring, and needless, but it was an adventure, escape, and enjoyable past time. With my personal broccoli adequately disguised, I never looked back.

Critique/Action: As I pursue my teaching career, I hope I will be one to not just encourage facts and deadlines, but one who will be able to instill a passion for learning. I think disguising my "broccoli with cheese" will have less to do with subject matter, and more to do with the environment. For example, I want my classroom to have engaging lesson plans, an "you can ask any question" kind of mindset, and curriculum that challenges students without making them feel incompetent.

On Finding Understanding

I received an unexpected text from my 15 year old sister a couple Fridays ago. It read:

"Are we supposed to wait until after high school to have a boyfriend?"

Uhhh.... I wasn't sure exactly how to answer this one.

Here's the deal: Emily had spent the week at EFY (a youth church camp). While there, one of the speakers led a pretty in depth discussion on dating. In the LDS church, we have been given a lot of standards and guidelines when it comes to teen dating.  These standards are given to us by modern prophets, and are published in a booklet called, "For the Strength of Youth."  The speaker my sister heard at EFY understood these standards differently than she had, causing her to feel a little bit conflicted.



Seeing that this conversation was not one that could be properly texted, we agreed to meet during her free time.


I wasn't sure what I expected this conversation to be, but what actually happened has kept me thinking for days. Emily led out with a firm,"I want to follow the prophet" kind of attitude. Her idea was not to push the boundaries of the church, but rather to correctly understand the principles in that pamphlet, so that when she began dating, she would be in line with what the prophets have said.

We surprisingly never nailed down the specifics of what was or wasn't appropriate when it came to teenage dating. Most of our conversation was spent discussing how she should go about researching this topic. We talked a great deal about study, prayer, and attitude. In the end, her mindset was the same as in the beginning, "I want to follow the prophet."

"Don't take lightly the feeling you get of love for the prophet of God. Wherever I go in the church, who ever the prophet is at the time, the members will ask, 'When you get back to church headquarters, will you please tell the prophet how much we love him?' That is far more than hero worship or the feelings we sometimes have of admiring heroic figures. It is a gift from God. With it, you receive more easily the gift of confirming revelation when he speaks in his office as the Lord's prophet. The love you feel is the love the Lord has for whoever is His spokesman." -Henry B. Eyring (Continuing Revelation, Oct 2014.)

Emily's trust in these men comes from a witness borne of the Spirit that they are representatives of Jesus Christ. I can tell that she feels that. And that's why I think her attitude was one of seeking understanding instead of defiance.

Her unwavering trust in these men of God strengthened my own conviction.

Later that day, I would go home, get on Facebook, and see the Supreme Court's ruling on gay marriage.

The more I reflected on this experience, the more it struck me what had really happened with Emily that day.

Emily had set herself on a path of dedication to God. When I was fifteen, the topic of dating was extremely important to me, as it is to her now. And there are a lot of details that people have varying opinions on. I remember also being thoroughly confused.

Emily's choice to clear her confusion by researching the words of prophets through study and prayer is going to benefit her for the rest of her life.... Because, one day, the topics of discussion are going to be ones of a much grander scale. When faced with controversy in the future, the opinions will be more fierce, and the consequences more far-reaching.

When I got home Friday and scrolled through my Facebook feed, I read article after article, each posted by someone I care about. Some felt that legalizing gay-marriage was a great step forward for our nation, while others felt devastated, disgusted, and threatened. As rainbow-stripped profile pictures and "straight-pride" posts littered my wall, I found peace as I looked to the men I sustain as prophets.

The leaders of the church released this official statement that Friday:

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints acknowledges that following today's ruling by the Supreme Court, same-sex marriages are now legal in the United States. The Court's decision does not alter the Lord's doctrine that marriage is a union between a man and a woman ordained by God. While showing respect for those who think differently, the Church will continue to teach and promote marriage between a man and a woman as a central part of our doctrine and practice."

Trust.

As I read these words, I was reminded how much I trust the men I sustain as prophets. And peace. I felt that too.

These themes of seeking clarity and understanding seem to be reoccurring ones as of late, and I assume that pattern will only continue. The legalization of same-sex marriage is not going be the last controversial issue that we face. I am grateful, however, for the opportunity it has given me to research the words of those I sustain as prophets, pray for clarity, and finally trust in the Savior.

And so, by the end of this, the issues of teen-dating and same-sex marriage didn't seem so different to me after all. The particulars, of course, are different, but the path of finding peace and understanding was the exact same.

Both required research, prayer and trust.

So that's my take-away.



As a side note, of the articles I read, this is the one that proved most enlightening:   http://www.millennialmormons.com/your-choice-supporting-gay-marriage-or-supporting-gay-members/

#sharegoodness

Earlier today I was watching a video of some country stars singing "Silent Night." It was a beautiful rendition, but by the third verse I found myself critiquing nearly every thing the artists did. "She has too much twang here,"  "She should have let the other artist hit the high notes," "You know, I never really did like so-and-so very much anyways." By the end of the verse the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Do you think HE cares?"
If the Savior were listening to these three women, would He care that one of their dresses was a bit drab? Would He care that the artists took a little liberty with the melody? Would He care if the harmony was predictable? No. No, I don't think He would.
 I think, if He were in the audience that night, or if He were the one on the other side of my laptop, He mostly would have just been really grateful. He would have been really grateful that in the world of fame, fortune, and beauty, there were still these three women who really believed in Him, and despite the negative influences around them, loved Him enough  that they wanted to use their careers to spread His message of peace and joy. He would have listened to that harmony, grateful that these women understood what He meant when He asked us to magnify our talents. As He watched the audience, He would be able to tell the moment that the Spirit had delivered the quiet assurance that this Christmas message was true. He would have already thought of all the times the video could potentially be posted online, and the influence it could have in that sphere.
And then the fourth verse started. Now, my pride having gone down quite a ways, I better appreciated the last verse. I was grateful to these women, and the way they had invited the Christmas Spirit into my morning. And so I give kudos to them. Way to #sharegoodness.

http://faithtap.com/2154/clarkson-yearwood-and-mcentire-sing-silent-night/

picture from http://www.pinterest.com/pin/281052832969678520/

I Lived in Heaven a Long Time Ago

One of the truths I hold most precious is that I am a child of a Heavenly Father, and that I lived with Him before I was born. In fact, we all did.

Before any of us came to this earth life, we lived as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, or God. As God told the prophet Jeremiah, "Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations" (Jeremiah 1:5).

Just as God knew and had a plan for Jeremiah, He has a plan for each of us too.



"We do not know many details about life in that premortal sphere, but we do know some. Our Heavenly Father has revealed to us who He is, who we are, and who we can become.

Back in that first estate, you knew with absolute certainty that God existed because you saw and heard Him. You knew Jesus Christ, who would become the Lamb of God. You had faith in Him. And you knew that your destiny was not to stay in the security of your premortal home. As much as you loved that eternal sphere, you knew you wanted and needed to embark on a journey," said Dieter F. Uchtdorf. To help us learn and grow into all we could be, God created a plan for us. In this plan, you "would depart from the arms of your Father, pass through a veil of forgetfulness, receive a mortal body, and learn and experience things that hopefully would help you grow to become more like Father in Heaven and return to His presence.

In that sacred place, surrounded by those you knew and loved, the great question on your lips and in your heart must have been 'Will I return safely to my heavenly home?'" he continued.

I get chills every time I read that statement. What that time must have felt like... There we stood on the edge of eternity, excited for our new adventure. I imagine the relief we must have felt when we learned that we would not go to earth alone, but that we would be blessed with families to help us along the way. We would also have the gift of prayer, enabling us to communicate with our Father. God would even bless us with prophets who would act as guides as we went through our journey.

Mostly, I imagine the overwhelming calmness that we must have felt when we learned that Jesus Christ would be our Savior. This was our older brother, and we trusted Him. We knew of His kindness, of His dedication to our Father, and of His unfailing love. We desperately needed a Savior, and we knew He would not fail us.


Painting by Liz Lemon Swindle.

The Lord revealed to the prophet, Abraham, more truth about our life before this.

"Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences (that's us) that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born" (Abraham 3:22-23).

God had confidence in us. He knew life on earth would be a struggle, full of heartbreaks and accidents, but He also knew that we had good souls. Though we would not remember our heavenly home, our spirits would be able to recognize truth when they felt it. We would be able to face our challenges with courage, and if we would choose to look toward the Savior, Jesus Christ, we would come out victorious.

God's purpose in all of this is clear, He has told us "Behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39).

Knowledge of my pre-earth life has given me peace and perspective throughout my life. I know who I am, I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father. I know that my Father has a great plan for me, just as He did Jeremiah and Abraham. In moments of hardship, I fall back on these truths. I know that through this plan God created for us, we will be able to return to live with Him, our Savior, and our families for eternity. And I can't think of anything better than that.

"In the end, you knew God would be just—that His goodness would triumph. You had participated in the great heavenly councils and knew that your Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, would provide a way for you to be cleansed from sin and rescued from physical death. You had faith that, in the end, you would rejoice and join your voice with a heavenly chorus singing praises to His holy name" said Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

To learn more about God's plan for you and your family, comment, message me on FaceBook, or visit http://mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation

God is Love :)

On this day of love, may we all remember the love our Father in Heaven has for us.
 

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39
 

"God is love."- 1 John4:8

"Oh all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads, and receive the pleasing word of God, and Feast upon his love; for  ye may, if your minds are firm, forever." - Jacob 3:2.


Each day I am taught more and more just how aware of us God really is. He is in the details of our lives. I absolutely know it. 

"God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other... in the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5). So often our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks- but what glorious consequences can flow from small but deliberate deeds." -Spencer W. Kimball.

My challenge to you today, help someone else feel God's love for them! Find a need and fill it!

It's Valentine's, so let's SPREAD the LOVE!

Hold to the Ground You've Already Won.

Just before I left on my mission, someone very dear to me expressed some concerns they were having with their faith. They had so many unanswered questions, so many things they didn't understand...And it broke my heart to see this person struggling.

Throughout my mission, I have seen this same problem over and over. The Gospel of Jesus Christ provides many answers for the honest in heart, but it does not tell us every mystery of heaven at first glance. Faith and patience are required.

The counsel I gave this dear friend of mine, and the counsel I give to all who may be struggling is this:

"In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited." -Jeffery R. Holland

We do not always understand why a loving Heavenly Father allows certain trials in our lives. We do not always understand what He is trying to teach us, or why our faithfulness seems to be so slow to be rewarded or answered. But we must not lose the spiritual witnesses of truth we have already gained. And surely, answers will eventually come. We must hold to the ground we have already won.

And so in the meantime we do all we can. We remain faithful. We read our scriptures and pray. We continue to seek guidance. We work as hard as we can. And then we wait in faith. And we look to the source of truth and light.

"Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed" (D&C 123:17).

Jeffery R. Holland continues:
"When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes...The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know."

To all those who may feel forgotten, or like the Lord is not answering their prayers, I plead with you to be patient, to remain faithful, and to hold to the ground you've already won. I testify that we do have a Father in Heaven who loves us and is so aware of us. He does hear our cries, and He will answer them in His own time. 

"For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer. For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee" (3 Nephi 22:7-10)

If any of you are having a hard time recognizing answers to your prayers, or feel forgotten by God, message me on Facebook, let's talk about it and try to find answers together.

For a link to the rest of this INCREDIBLE talk by Jeffery R. Holland, click here :)

It Matters to Him

"All through my life the counsel to depend on prayer has been prized above almost any other advice I have received. It has become an integral part of me, an anchor, a constant source of strength, and the basis for my knowledge of things divine." -Ezra Taft Benson

Like Ezra Benson, prayer played a big role in my upbringing.

Each morning of my childhood started off with a prayer and a hug before I ran out the door to head to school. Throughout the day, my family would pray before we ate dinner, drove long distances, or started various family outings. It  also wasn't uncommon for me to come up the stairs morning or night, and see my parents kneeling at their bedside praying together.

Nighttime family prayers were always my favorite, though.

Each day of my childhood was closed with my family kneeling together in prayer. With the TV paused, the books put down, and the texting left to the side, we'd all rush up the stairs to gather around my parent's bed or the family room couch for family prayer. Rarely would we miss a night of this tradition.

My parents went through a lot of effort to instill this pattern of prayer in their children, and whenever I sought counsel for a problem, my mom's advice was generally to pray about it.

The spring I turned 15, I was having a hard time finding a swimsuit that I thought was tasteful and modest. As summer came closer and closer, I started feeling a little panicked.  I had been raised with high standards of modesty, and I felt like I had been on a thousand swimsuit websites and in a million stores (in reality, probably only two), and there was nothing that would fill my modesty requirements as well as my budget. It sounds like such a silly concern, but I feared being trapped in a granny-suit all summer long. One night, as I was fretting over the issue, my mom finally told me to just go and pray about it. She said, in effect, "Audrey, tonight when you pray, tell your Heavenly Father what is going on. If this is truly important to you, it will be important to Him, and He will help you find a modest swimsuit." So I did. I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me find a modest/cute/affordable swimsuit when I went shopping the next day.

The following morning, my mom took my sister and me to a little boutique we had heard good things about. I walked in, and lo and behold, the very first suit I tried on was modest, was moderately priced, and was pretty darn cute...It seemed to be nothing short of a small miracle.

It was such a simple and silly request--"Please Heavenly Father, help me find a cute swimsuit for the summer,"--but it really meant a lot to me. This experience strengthened my testimony that someone was listening to my prayers.

Since that spring, Heavenly Father has continued to make Himself manifest to me in answers to my prayers. For me, answers have come in many different ways. Sometimes its a feeling of comfort; other times it's an encouraging word from a close friend; or perhaps I'll be having a really hectic day with a million deadlines to meet, and somehow the pieces fall into place at the last minute. Whether I need clarity, comfort, encouragement, direction, stress relief, or peace, Heavenly Father has never failed to answer my heartfelt pleas.

Prayer has been a blessing and strength to my life. It is a gift from a loving God. He knows us, and we can come to know Him as we spend time with Him through prayer.

If any of you are struggling with prayer, are not sure how to recognize answers to your prayers, or even aren't sure how to pray, message me on Facebook. :) Let's talk about it.

Create a Holy Place

Just over a year ago, a woman named Ann M. Dibb (one of the leaders in the LDS faith) gave a talk about the Holy Places in our lives. She talked about how "holy places" can be geographical locations such as church buildings, temples or homes. She acknowledged that places can be distinct conditions, positions, or states of mind. She said,  "This means holy places can also include moments in time—moments when the Holy Ghost testifies to us, moments when we feel Heavenly Father’s love, or moments when we receive an answer to our prayers. Even more, I believe any time you have the courage to stand for what is right, especially in situations where no one else is willing to do so, you are creating a holy place."

After reading this talk, I contemplated the "holy places" in my life.  I thought about the moment when I knelt on my bed and prayed after I finished the Book of Mormon for the first time. I also thought about the places in my home town I used to go to sort out my thoughts when I was troubled, like the walking path behind my  parents' house. One of my favorite holy places is the area rug in my childhood home where we said countless nighttime prayers as a family.  Other holy places included the high school newspaper room, the first time I played the violin in church, and the sidewalk outside my college dorm where I said "no" to things that I knew where not right. Each of these places and moments shaped a part of my character and strengthened the conviction of my testimony.

Over the course of my mission, I've continued to find holy places. A holy place was found in the tears on my cheeks after we were dropped by my favorite person to teach. Another was found in feeling happy and at home around the table of a family I fell in love with. It is a strange feeling to look down a street and know exactly which homes have copies of the Book of  Mormon, which homes  you have prayed with after they have recently lost a loved one, or which homes felt the Spirit when you testified of the love and redeeming power of our Savior. In this regard, even an entire street can become a holy place.

I love thinking about the actual paths the Savior walked and the holy places He created there. I can only imagine being one of Christ's original disciples and remembering the corner where Christ healed the blind, the alley where the woman with the issue of blood reached out to touch the Savior's robe, or the tomb where Christ raised Lazarus from the dead. His life was absolutely filled with holy places because He filled His life with holy things... I'm sure as a child He spent time studying the words of the prophets, and many nights on His knees seeking for direction from His Father in Heaven.

All of these holy places prepared our Savior for that night in the Garden of Gethsemane where He would "tremble from pain...bleed from every pore...and suffer both body and Spirit" (D&C 19:18) in our behalf. Here, the Savior gave all He had to the Father. Through His sacrifice and love expressed in this holy place, we too can overcome the negative affects of sin.

My point in all of this...We all have the power to CREATE holy places. Elaine S. Dalton said, "I truly believe that one virtuous young woman or young man, led by the Spirit, can change the world."

Spencer W. Kimball, a prophet in the 70s and 80s, once said, "God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs.  Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other...In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5).  So often our acts of service consists of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help from mundane tasks--but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds."

On the back of my nametag, I have written "create a holy place," and I pray each day that Heavenly Father will help me do that.

We all are blessed with unique gifts and talents that Heavenly Father has given to us to bless others, and those moments when we're blessing others' lives and magnifying our own gifts are sacred.  So whether you spend extra time in the scriptures or on your knees, share your testimony with a friend, or serve a perfect stranger, my challenge to you is to create a holy place today.

Week 7/15 :Full Purpose of Heart

Christ has given us everything. He's given us an atonement through which we can repent and return to live with Him and The Father again. He's suffered for our pains and sorrows, so He really knows what each individual is dealing with. He's even given us the earth itself for us to live on.  He's descended below all things, and risen above every pain and conflict that has ever existed. He gave the blind man sight, the deaf back his hearing, He even raised people from the dead.

If Christ is so powerful, and so above us, what can we possibly give Him that's of value that He wouldn't be able to just create Himself?

I'm of the opinion that there is really only one thing that quite fits that bill. Ironically, the only  true gift we can give Him is something He's already given us. Its our agency.  Our agency is the only unique thing we can give to Christ.

In class this week, we talked about how the greatest works of God are manifest in the everyday lives of obedient people. For example, the elements don't have the power to decide to follow Christ. When Christ asks the sea to be calm, it has to be, the sea has to listen. Contrary to the elements, we do have a choice. Christ can't force us to "come unto Him." That decision is all on us. Isn't that idea amazing? That after the countless worlds Christ has created, after the infinite atonement He has suffered, the greatest gift we can possibly give Him is to obey and follow Him? And the crazy thing is, if we follow his plea to follow Him, He blesses us with even more. It's not something I totally understand. Christ gives us everything we know, gives us a way to be clean again, and  promises us eternal life if we just follow Him and the Father? It seems almost too good to be true.

Well, if that's my job, that is to come unto Christ, I want to do it as its described in 3 Ne 10:6 and come unto Him with "full purpose of heart." Christ has given us so much, and asked for so little. He promises eternal salvation if we just follow the commandments. Anyways, my point in this is: if Christ is so willing to give me everything, and asks only for my obedience in return, well then, I am going to be the best follower that I know how to be.

As a missionary, I'm going to be subject to A LOT of rules that I'm definitely not used to. And while some of the rule I think may be a little... much... (i.e. you have to wash your car once a week, what the heck is that about?!) I know that my success as a missionary will be highly dependent on whether or not I'm serving and obeying with "full purpose of heart." I'm not saying that washing my car is really going to matter that much, but rather its the attitude I have towards all of the little rules that is going to affect my service  (including whether or not I take car of my car as asked). I really love this next quote, especially as it pertains to missionary work.


"When obedience ceases to be and irritant and becomes our goal, in that moment God will endow us with power." -Ezra Taft Benson

I know that promise is real, and have seen it, at least to some extent in my life already. I'm for sure not a perfect follower of Christ, but, like any other Christian, I'm doing my best. What was that thing that Elder Holland said in General Conference? It was something about how with the exception of Christ, God has only ever worked with imperfect people...ya, He's pretty used to it. The beautiful thing is that every time we mess up, if we recommit to do our best to follow Christ in the future, we are forgiven time and time again. 

Anyways, at the end of the day, if the only thing I can give to Christ is my agency to follow Him, by golly, I want to do it with "full purpose of heart."